The Day You Never Expect To Arrive
by Dayne Dinning
Summary: Aaron and Jackson meet and they soon fall in love but it is coupled with an impending tragedy!
1. 1 The Day You Never Expect To Arrive

This is my first attempt at an Emmerdale fanfic, Aaron Livesy is my favourite character, so this is the start of a series of stories that will show Emmerdale and Aaron written from my perspective. I hope you all enjoy

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><p>"The Day You Never Expect To Arrive"<p>

The sound of her three inch heels stomping and grinding against the gravel, the car unlocking and then suddenly the slam of the car door and the roar of the engine all could be heard within seconds, she pulled away hard and fast causing the tyres to screech on the road.

Carl ran out of the front door. "Chas!" he yelled after her but it was too late. Realising this he pressed the palms of his hands to his forehead in frustration. "Aargh" He walked back inside and slammed the door after him.

Meanwhile Aaron was leaning against a stone wall, one of many field boundaries that he could see within the scenic countryside ahead. He was up quite high as he could see the roads down the hill and the village to the left. He did like living in the country, he knew what was what, who everyone was but all the while he still felt alone. It had been a few weeks since his attempt at kissing his best mate Adam, they had done nothing but argue and he hated it, he wouldn't admit it but he did, he loved spending time with his mate and now it was gone.

Aaron was deep in concentration; the frown burrowing his brow said it all, a single eyebrow rose as the sound of screeching tyres in the distance snapped him back to reality. "What the hell?" he thought as he saw Carl's car speeding along the country road. "Arguing again" he muttered and shook his head and delved back into his darkened mind as he still to this day struggled with his inner demons, the kiss was a big give away and he knew it, but he did not want to confront those feelings – ever!

Almost momentarily a high pitched screech echoed through the valley causing Aaron to look up, his expression quickly altered to a look of horror at the sight of the car almost wrapping itself around an oncoming car and with a burst of adrenaline he leapt over the stone wall and ran as fast as he possibly could, whether it was Carl, or a random – he could not just stay there and watch people die.

Aaron panted as he ran through the fields, the smell of the smoke drifted in his direction and it urged him to run even faster than he already was, his face contorted as he struggled to catch his breath.

In the not so far distance, Adam was riding his quad, when he noticed someone looking very much like Aaron running, and when he paid more attention, he saw why and jumped off the quad and he too started running towards the accident. Running; he took his phone out of his pocket and dialled nine nine nine – it connected seconds later. "Yeah um...ambulance please, there's been a car accident – just outside of Emmerdale, just hurry yeah?" he spoke urgently as he ran.

Reaching the roadside he jumped over the fence and ran several metres towards the scene, the smoke was more intense here; Aaron coughed violently and covered his mouth. He couldn't see the driver from the other car, but a slight gust of wind cleared the smoke briefly and then he saw long black wavy hair and a red leather jacket in the driver's seat.

He knew.

A heart wrenching cry forced itself out from Aaron and he was instantly sick on the roadside. But he stopped himself, and ran closer to the driver's side with no second thought for his own safety. All he wanted was him mum.

Tears streamed down his face as he yanked the car door open, resulting in it falling off its own hinges and onto the road. He fell to his knees; the lump in his throat just overwhelmed him for the second he allowed it too. With a deep breath he reached over her body and tried to loosen the seat belt but it was stuck. Aaron panicked and pulled hard and aggressively at the belt, desperation in each move he made. The harsh pulling of the belt rocked Chas from side to side slightly which allowed Aaron to see the left side of her face and neck completely covered in blood.

It wasn't until Aaron was feeling the exhaustion overpower him that he saw the foot well of the car through tear drenched eyes crushed inward trapping her legs.

In the distance several sirens could be heard, Aaron cried and cried, he might never have said it but he did love her. "Mum..." his voice was choked as his body began to shake more intensely now. He fell to his knees again. "Mum!" he hung his head for a moment then lifted it up again and grabbed her arm and shook her. "MUM!" he shouted, tears had not stopped flowing down his cheeks.

Aaron felt a tight grip around his chest as he was yanked away from the car, when he turned and saw it was Adam, he violently pushed him away and ran back to his mum.

"Aaron!" Adam shouted and ran to pull him away again.

"No!" he shook his head. "You've gotta help me!" he pleaded.

"There's nothing we can do Aaron" they may not have seen eye to eye lately but seeing Chas like that and Aaron suffering so much it brought tears to his eyes. When Aaron failed to listen, Adam leapt up to him and rugby tackled him to the ground. "It's TOO dangerous!" he tried to get it into his head.

Aaron sobbed and covered his face with his hands and started banging the back of his head off the road in complete sadness and frustration.

Adam took his hand and helped him up and Aaron fell against him; he looked up to the sky – the blue sky that looked so peaceful and he closed his eyes as he shook his head. He put his arms around Aaron. "They're coming mate..." he breathed. "They're coming" he repeated.

Seconds later an almighty wave of intense heat knocked them both to the ground, Aaron lifted himself up onto his elbows as he watched the car explode right before his eyes, the blast shot up several metres, and debris burst out with force.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Aaron screamed as he cried.

Adam grabbed Aaron and shoved him right down to the ground as another explosion ripped through the peaceful surroundings of the countryside.

TBC...

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><p>I hope you liked what I wrote, I don't know where it came from, and I'd just like to reassure people I actually love Chas but that idea stuck and became a way to begin these stories. Thankyou.<p> 


	2. 2 The First Meet

This fanfic continues on from "The Day You Never Expect To Arrive" Hope you enjoy! As always, comments/feedback are welcome!

Disclaimer - I don't own emmerdale or any of the characters used.

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><p>"The First Meet"<p>

Aaron was sat at one of the tables outside of the woolpack, staring into his lager. He had allowed his facial hair to grow quite bushy and really dark. His eyes were worn and tired; his face pale. It had been just over a week since Chas' funeral.

He didn't know where to place his feelings now, he had Paddy and talked to him about things if he needed too, but he never really did with Chas and now that feeling of missed chances and regret overshadowed his former self and to the others around him, worry was the only thing that came to mind when they thought of Aaron Livesy.

Diane walked out to collect some glasses; when she came to Aaron's table she immediately felt so sorry for him. She reached passed him and picked up the four pint glasses, and god knows whatever else he'd had previously.

"Another please Diane" he requested as she picked up the final glass.

She looked around and sighed. "Aaron love – I think you've had enough" she gently suggested.

"No..." he replied and shook his head, but his attention was soon diverted. "Alright..." he looked at Diane as he stood. "Alright..." he repeated this time, barely even a whisper as he got up and left.

The village was quite busy, a builder was working, workers were on their lunch breaks and people were going to and from the pub, but the only person Aaron saw in his tunnel vision was Carl King, Aaron had learned at the funeral, his mum stormed out after an argument with him.

Aaron whizzed past everyone and everything, running as fast as he could in his drunken stupor.

This caught people's attention.

Instantly Aaron's body impacted Carl as he was mindlessly walking to the shop. Both men fell to the ground hard and Aaron got up and began pounding his fists into Carl's face and chest, complete anger and viciousness filling his expression.

Carl tried to stop him but he couldn't, and no matter how much he disliked the kid he wasn't going to hit him. But then in the dark recesses of his mind he thought maybe he did actually deserve this attack as he lay there trying to defend himself.

In the distance, desperate shrieks and shouting could be heard. The builder working in the village had walked out to his van to get some more tools and equipment to help him with the job when the commotion caught his attention. He was thin but strong, very athletic and his body showed this through his white top. He frowned as he watched, trying to get a glimpse of what was going on and when he saw fighting he ran up to the scene as fast as he could. The only people there were in no shape or were able to stop this. Jackson Walsh never liked violence and he didn't care who he grabbed but he could see that the older of the two was defending himself.

"IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT!" Aaron yelled as he was pulled off Carl, his fists were prepared as he swung around to see who had stopped his revenge. But when he saw deep brown eyes looking back at him he stopped. He didn't know why but he did. He lowered his fists and wiped his eyes. His breathing was hard and he struggled through the pain of his loss.

Carl stood, straightening himself; his looks to Aaron were nasty. "Why you so bothered now Aaron? It's not like you bothered with her when she was alive" he hit back, in the way that would not leave a physical bruise.

"Now that's enough" Pearl shot at Carl. "Come on everyone, let's leave them to it" she continued and the group of people began to diminish.

Aaron waited until the audience had left, all the while his blood pumping hard, his aggression uncontrollable and he lunged forward at Carl - but was stopped when he felt hands – big strong hands around his chest pulling him back.

Jackson now got the gist of what was happening here, it seemed that this Aaron he had now held in his arms was the son of that mans girlfriend and Aaron was blaming him for her death.

"Look! I don't know you two or anything but he's just a young lad" Jackson said to Carl.

Aaron was drunk and the adrenaline was now disappearing quickly and real life hit him again and the words the stranger was speaking weren't relevant - he just didn't care.

"And obviously grieving, I would think you were old enough to understand." Jackson continued and loosened his grip on the young man.

Aaron walked to the stranger's side and waited a second before walking away.

Carl shook his head and walked off. "You'll get yours Livesy"

But Aaron didn't hear, he was walking – walking anywhere and the place he came too was an open van. He sat in the back, the doors opened out at the side concealed him, and he lifted his feet so that he was sat with his knees inward to his chest. He sat rocking as tears slowly left his eyes.

Jackson couldn't find him, he looked around but he couldn't see him. He shook his head. "You're welcome" he muttered with a sigh as he decided to return to his van.

Upon walking to the back of his van, he was surprised at what he saw. The lad he'd just pulled away from beating someone up sitting there, his head rested against the shelving Jackson built up himself after acquiring the vehicle.

"Oh!" Aaron sat up startled, his equilibrium had gone completely and with each move it sent him dizzy, he closed his eyes until he adjusted. "Sorry, didn't realise this was yours, I'll move..."

Jackson watched him, a slight smile curled his lips and he shook his head. He was hot on first glance but now, after having a chance to properly look and see past the drunkenness, the young lad was really attractive, his eyes were a piercing blue and his body was rather built, his chest and arms could be seen through the grey jumper he was wearing. _Stop perving he'll notice _Jackson thought to himself. "No" he shook his head. "You don't have too, no" he replied. "How about if you come inside, the place isn't falling down now, or I could help you along home?" he asked.

Aaron moved toward the edge and put his legs over and they touched the floor. "God no, Paddy wouldn't be too happy"

"Paddy?" Jackson asked with a curious frown.

"Yeah my um..." Aaron smiled; it's all he could do. "My dad"

"Oh I see, but from what I've gathered, I'm sure he'd understand...are you coming in then? A coffee will do you the world of good"

Aaron nodded as he got out of the van and started walking to the house, Jackson followed closely behind...

To Be Continued...


	3. 3 Revelations

This fanfic follows on from "The First Meet" all comments and feedback are welcome. I don't own Emmerdale or any of the characters used.

Thankyou and Enjoy!

Aarson / "Revelations"  
><em><br>__I don't even know this lad, why did I invite him in?_ Jackson thought as he filled the kettle with water. It was as if there were two Jackson's one on each shoulder when the other perked up. _I think you know why, you're a sucker for a bad boy_ he thought again. Jackson inclined his head sideways as he agreed with himself and a slight smirk appeared on his face.

Once the kettle was on to boil, he reached for a deep bowl and filled it with warm water, grabbed some antiseptic and cotton wool that he kept in his first aid kit, he poured some antiseptic in the water.

Sitting opposite Aaron, he saw his dark eyes. Eyes said so much about a person and Jackson could tell he'd been hurt and still was hurting, but he also concluded that he wasn't all bad. "This might hurt a little...if you can feel it at all" he smirked as he dipped some cotton wool into the water and took a hold of Aaron's bloodied hand from the scuffle he'd stopped earlier.

Aaron absentmindedly shook his head as he stared down at the table. Jackson hadn't noticed the tears in his eyes starting to well up. And they began to freely fall down his cheeks as Jackson fixed up his hand as best he could.

It took a few moments for Jackson to look up from Aaron's hand that he was concentrating intently on. As Jackson watched, he didn't really know what to say to him but instantly he felt compassion for him. "You know..." Jackson broke the silence as he carried on clearing away the dried blood from Aaron's fists. "Talking to a stranger might help, get it all, clear the mind a little, I got an idea of what happened and I can't imagine how you must be feeling right now" Jackson's speech was quiet. The house was so silent he felt like he shouldn't be loud.

It took a few seconds for Aaron to speak. "It's confusing because I was a dick to her" he wiped his eyes and took a breath before continuing. "A complete bastard, I never let her in ever, I hated her so much in the beginning because she left me with my dad, but the more I stayed here the more that hatred went away but not the fear of her leaving me again, I kept her at arm's length really" the tears started again. He struggled. "I'm sorry..."

Jackson shook his head slightly and gently tightened his grip on Aarons hand in a comforting manner. "No... Don't be"

Aaron noticed this and sat up a little defensively to which Jackson also noticed and he moved his hand from his. "Sorry"

Aaron shook it off.

"And you regret all that?" Jackson asked as he got up and started to clear things away.

Aaron nodded. "Totally" the tension in his face was clear as he sobbed uncontrollably and he placed his hands over his face.

Jackson didn't know what to do. He turned around and walked back to the table and knelt down at his side. "It's alright" he comforted.

"It's not because I don't have the right to feel this way, I was horrible!" Aaron told him. And those were his feelings; he didn't feel he should feel that way ever.

"How can you say that?" Jackson frowned. "She was your mum and you loved her, I can see that, and she would have known too...No granted, you might not have told her in so many words maybe but she would have known..." he repeated.

Aaron seemed to settle now and Jackson got up and poured the coffees that had been waiting for quite a while.

Moments later armed with two coffees, one very strong for Aaron. He stood next to him. "Fancy a comfy seat...?" he asked and nodded towards the lounge doors.

Aaron nodded and got up from the chair a little unsteady at first but he was fine eventually.

"I didn't get your name..." Aaron mentioned as he sat on the sofa.

"Oh me either actually" Jackson chuckled. "I'm Jackson, Jackson Walsh"

"I'm Aaron" Aaron smiled slightly. "Thanks for pulling me away back there..." he thanked him.

"It's alright" Jackson smiled and the more he looked at him, the more he realised he really...really liked this boy, whether or not he should was another question entirely. "What was it all about anyway?" Jackson was sat side on, with his elbow on the top of the couch, his head resting against the palm of his hand.

Aaron sighed and took a sip of the coffee. "Well to put it simply I blame him, my mum and him had an argument on the day of the accident and if she hadn't of stormed out because of him, she would still be here" he explained.

Jackson was unsure as to whether to say this or not. "I'm not taking sides Aaron but he wouldn't have known what was going to happen, and how do you know it was his fault they argued?" he asked.

"I don't but I know one thing - I wouldn't have cared if it was him who died and do you always take so much interest in a stranger you only met over an hour ago?" Aaron asked.  
>Jackson understood that question; he'd asked himself the same thing several times since meeting Aaron Livesy. "No" he answered honestly.<p>

"Well why then?" Aaron frowned.

"Because I... " he began but stopped. "Doesn't matter, if I told you you'd probably hit me" he sighed, the idea of someone exactly his type being gay was extremely unlikely so he let it go.

Aaron didn't understand, something had been lost in translation there. "No...Go on..." he told him.

"Because..." he hesitated. "Because after today and being in your company for a while, you have no idea how much I'm restraining myself from kissing you right now" Jackson took the plunge, it was worth it whatever the outcome might be.

Aaron's entire body tensed and moved back – now rather alert. A million things wracked his brains in that instant second. Aaron knew his sexuality, although he hadn't really thought about it in the recent weeks, he knew who he was now, but he hadn't told anyone.

"I'm sorry I should have just kept quiet, I'm comfortable with it myself but I just wasn't sure about your reaction" Jackson hung his head.

Aaron was silent and he had no intention of breaking that silence anytime soon. He was stunned.

Jackson became increasingly panicked. He sighed loudly. "I'm sorry, I'm really sorry...I REALLY should have kept it too myself, I don't even know if you're gay or anything, I shouldn't have laid that on you, what an idiot I am..." frustration got the better of him and he placed his hands in his head.

Aaron reached out his hand slowly and pulled it back in hesitation but thought better of it and reached for his arm again. They touched; Jackson was warm and his arm strong, it was almost as if a spark had ignited. He pulled Jacksons arm away, in turn his hand pulled from his face causing Jackson to look up at Aaron.  
><em><br>__What's he doing?_ Jackson thought to himself as Aaron moved closer towards him.

They didn't speak and Jackson moved closer aswell, their eyes locked on one another's, knowing what action this would lead too but still all the while unsure. Momentarily their lips touched gently but the more Aaron wanted this, the more pressure he applied until  
>Jackson allowed Aaron entry and their tongues intertwined with one another. Aaron stopped suddenly, slowly pulling back, their gaze on each other still firm.<p>

Jackson was breathless, his breathing timid. He moved closer again and kissed Aaron with more passion than he had ever given anyone. His hand reached up to Aaron's face and placed it on his cheek as they kissed.

To which Aaron replied with an instant pull back and a deep frown; suddenly he warped back into real life and stood quickly. "I've gotta go" he told him and bolted for the door he walked through.

Jackson wasn't far behind and he stopped at the door, watching Aaron cross the road. "Hey! What the hell?" he yelled.

Aaron turned to Jackson – now walking backwards. "I'm sorry I've just got to go!"

"Not without me your not" he replied and walked towards him quickly.

"Jackson I appreciate you helping me but please just let me go"

"No, not in this state you're not" he continued to follow him, soon walking past the pub.

"Where do you live then?"

"Up here" Aaron simply replied keeping his feet swiftly moving towards Smithy cottage.

Jackson looked up ahead and saw two similar looking buildings and the closer he got he realised it was a veterinary surgery. "Well well well, a gay vet, who'd have thought" he smirked sarcastically.

Aaron instantly stopped in his tracks and turned to face him, his index finger pointed aggressively towards him, the veins in his neck bulging as the anger and confusion built. "You need to shut up now!"

"Why? Got something to hide?"

"Yeah actually I don't want the whole fucking village to know alright?" at that point Aaron quietened down and quickly looked around to see if anyone heard. There were a few looks from the village gossips and the drinkers sitting outside the pub. Aaron inhaled and calmed down. "I'm nearly home now, you can go"

Jackson shook his head. "You're still pretty drunk I'm not leaving you until you get inside"

"Whatever floats your boat" Aaron sighed as he turned again and carried on walking.

Upon reaching the cottage Aaron swung open the red door, walked in and slammed it shut in Jacksons face.

Jackson shook his head, sighed and immediately knocked to which the door opened a few seconds later showing a very confused Paddy.

Paddy was looking out of view watching Aaron, look intently out of the window at the man he'd not long connected with and not just mentally. Paddy shook his head and looked out at the lad standing on the path. "Can I help?" he asked.

"Yeah um, he got into a bit of a scuffle earlier, he was out of his head, I took him away and let him calm down" Jackson explained as he reached into his jacket and pulled out a business card.

"Oh well...that's not surprising lately...thankyou" Paddy was grateful.

"No worries" he held out his card. "This is my card, it's got my number on if he wants to talk or go for a drink or something, I'm working in the village for a few more weeks so I'm sure I'll see him but if you'd pass this on?" he asked

Paddy took the card and nodded again. "Of course, thanks, I'll see to him now" there was more of a look of concern on his face now when Aaron bolted behind him and charged up the stairs.

Jackson watched him go up the stairs and an intense internal heat washed over him, and he shuddered slightly with pleasure. He bowed his head slightly and walked away, his hands in his pockets and a very cheeky grin on his face as he walked back to the house.

"AARONNN!"

Jackson heard the yell from inside the house as he walked away. _Someone's in trouble _he thought.

A while later as Jackson was working, his phone came to life and a text from an unknown number flashed up. He curiously picked up his phone and the text read:_** I'm not a vet...I'm a mechanic - Aaron**__**  
><strong>_  
>Jackson smiled as he read it, interpreting that maybe as a way forward. Whatever that might be...<p>

To Be Continued... 


	4. 4 Karma

"Karma"

*This fanfic follows on from _Revelations_

# Disclaimer – I do not own Emmerdale or any of the characters used.

~ - I would like to thank every single one of you who has read and/or reviewed my writing, it is greatly appreciated and I just hope you all continue to enjoy my stories. Now I'm going to throw a spanner in the works...I would love for you readers to stick with me along this journey. Thankyou and enjoy!

PRE-WARNING: A single issue written in this story may or may not cause distress, and once you come across it you will know what I mean. I do apologise if this does cause distress, but it's real life – it happens.

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><p>*A FEW WEEKS LATER*<p>

Jackson had just placed the penultimate handful of tools into his van, the job was complete and he would be on his way. He looked up towards Smithy cottage and just sighed and shook his head before walking back into the house to gather the last set of tools and equipment.

He had seen Aaron occasionally in the previous weeks, walking to and from work, to the shop, to the pub and back but they exchanged no words but only a few texts which didn't really say much, so Jackson naturally decided to forget about him and carry on, which was unlike him when he liked someone as much as Aaron. The reason why he wasn't confident enough to go and seize him? Because he was scared, he had suffered rejection a few times and in those times he had been in love, he didn't want the same thing to happen again, because he knew he could easily fall in love with Aaron Livesy; but he wasn't going to allow himself to be drawn into all of that.

When Jackson walked back out, he didn't expect Aaron to be leaning against the open door of the van. "Ohh I might have to check my stuff, you might have nicked something" he said quite seriously as he walked around him and placed the stuff in the van.

Aaron scowled at him. "Ha Ha very funny...Where you off?" he asked, now turned around fully to look at him.

"To the next job – my work here is done" Jackson bluntly replied as he purposely chose not to look at him.

"Look...About what happened I'm sorry." Aaron began. "I shouldn't have ran off, I'm just scared"

To which Jackson replied with a 'Pfft' He shook his head.

"What's that meant to mean?" he frowned.

"Meaning you're scared? So am I Aaron"

"What have you got to be scared of? You're out, it's alright for you, you know who you are" Aaron replied watching him intently, he was completely baffled by all of this.

Instantly, Jackson threw his drill into one of the racks at the side of the van causing a loud bang and clattering noise which startled Aaron. "It's alright for me?" he countered. "Everyday isn't a fucking picnic Aaron! There are some days when I watch my back when I'm walking into a gay bar for fuck sake – so don't you dare stand there telling me it's alright for me because it's NOT! Not in the slightest, coming out is only the first step and you 'll realise that when you man up and tell the ones that care about you" he raged. "You don't even know me Aaron, how dare you?" he said more quietly now as he turned away.

"No but I could..."

Jackson shook his head. "You could of while I've been here, you've had every opportunity but no you never bothered! Forget it I'm gone"

"No, Jackson please, just give me one chance to make it up to you" Aaron asked.

"Alright fine, bar west, 4pm, we can have a drink and talk" Jackson threw it out there, because he knew he wouldn't turn up.

Aaron expression looked worried now and he sighed.

"What? Got other plans?" Jackson asked.

"Sort of...yeah and it's important – I'm not saying more important than you but you know..." Aaron said.

"No actually Aaron I don't, turn up don't, at this point I don't really care"

A while later Aaron was dressed and ready, he sat in the living room in silence staring at his phone. _Do I text? _He asked himself, as if waiting for a sign.

The silence was broken when he heard the front door break from its latch and the squeak of the door following seconds later. Aaron's questioned remained unanswered as Paddy walked into the room as Aaron rose from the sofa, looking rather uncomfortable.

"Oh you going out?" Paddy asked.

"Yeah...just around" Aaron replied.

Paddy chuckled. "Well what's new? Just as long as you're not getting into any bother its fine by me"

Aaron shook his head. "Nah...See you later" he placed his hand on Paddy's shoulder briefly as he walked brushed past him.

The sounds of the waiting room seemed louder as he sat nervously waiting for his name to be called, his appointment was scheduled ten minutes before but that was nature of these places he guessed – always late. His mind wandered to his altercation with Jackson and his impending results. The palms of his hands were sweaty and he couldn't keep still. He had the said tests weeks ago. _It's taken ages _he told himself. But when he thought of Jackson again it distracted him and he brought a smile to his face.

What seemed like distant voices were only actually a few metres away, and when he snapped out of his thoughts he looked up and saw the doctor standing holding a card. "Aaron Livesy" he called again.

"Oh...sorry..." he said as he stood and walked out of the row he was sat in and walked up the small aisle to meet the doctor who started walking through a doorway, where all the rooms were lined up. Aaron followed closely behind.

Upon entering the room, it smelled very clean, it was quite dull aswell he noted. He stopped just ahead of the doorway when he saw his patient folder on the desk. He began to panic. "I can't do this..." he told the doctor.

The doctor was already sat at his desk at this point. "Mr Livesy please...it's best you just let me tell you them if the results are positive then at least you will know, and we can go from there, if their negative then you will have peace of mind. It is best" he reassured him.

Aaron nodded slowly and stepped closer to the chair, with each step the more the panic increased, his breathing was laboured.

What was merely seconds as the doctor opened the results envelope seemed like an eternity. Aaron watched his face and he was confused that there was no emotion as he read the results to himself first.

"I'm sorry Mr. Livesy but the results are positive, you've got testicular cancer and there were other signs during the tests that it may have spread"

Aaron's world came crashing down in a split second, as he sat there he froze. _My life is over _He thought.

The doctor tapped his keyboard quickly. "I'm organising hospital appointments for you with a specialist at Hotten general immediately, one tomorrow morning, they'll discuss the condition with you and undoubtedly begin treatment – stay positive Aaron" he softened. "Many many people have come back from this"

Aaron was unresponsive, his eyes were wide and fixed forward - he was blank. "But some don't. Thankyou doctor"

"Yes of course – you also have to be prepared for that"

Aaron stood up, took his appointment card and the results and walked out.

It was half five by the time he arrived at bar west, the place was quite busy for a tea time, many people had just finished work and wanted some down time. He saw Jackson standing at the bar and he smiled, the only time he had since his results were revealed to him and he hurried over to him. Once he got closer he saw Jackson talking to someone else and it looked rather cosy. He frowned and shook his head. "Fine..." he murmured – after the day he'd had he was well and truly defeated and he turned around and briskly headed for the door.

Jackson had turned back around at this point. _Where are you Aaron? _He wondered silently desperately wanting to see him. As he looked around he saw him what seemed to be angrily pulling the door open and storming out. Jackson was left confused and pulled his phone out to text him.

_**I just saw you leaving the bar :s , come back? J x**_

Moments later his phone beeped signalling a reply.

_**Do one Jackson; I've really had enough today without seeing you getting all cosy with another bloke. But then again why would I care? I'm just some boy – see ya.**_

To Be Continued...

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><p>I hope you readers enjoyed that, if you didn't I understand why, it was rather difficult to write it myself, although I've never suffered from this condition nor have I been close to anyone who has. But I do hope you stick around :)<p>

Thanks

D x


	5. 5 The Beginning

"The Beginning"

*This fanfic follows on from _Karma_

# Disclaimer – I do not own Emmerdale or any of the characters used.

It had been two days since his results were revealed to him. One day since his treatment began, he had to take multiple different tablets at once, three times a day, which he was warned would make him violently ill and that he would have good days and really bad days. Aaron was not physically or mentally prepared for this. He really needed somebody.

And sick he was, he sounded a violent roar as he gripped the edge of the toilet and from the pit of his stomach rose up vomit until it hurtled out with force and lots of it, the back of his throat spasmed with each jerking movement his head made as the discoloured liquid forced its way out.

In the kitchen Paddy was sorting through some paperwork when he heard the violent roar. He frowned and walked to the bottom of the stairs. "Aaron?" he called up but there was no answer and that made him run up the stairs. The sound of someone being sick was clearer now as he approached the bathroom. He swung open the door and was immediately at Aaron's side. "Heyy" he said softly. "It's alright..." he rubbed Aaron's back.

The sickness was slowly stopping and Aaron was able to speak. "I'm so sorry..." he stammered as the breathlessness took over and he fell back against the side of the bath as he wiped his mouth.

Paddy knelt down in front of him. "Don't be...I thought you didn't look well yesterday..." he told him. "I'll get you some tablets..." Paddy began to stand before Aaron grabbed his arm and pulled him back.

His head shook adamantly. "No...You can't...*I* can't"

Paddy didn't understand at all. "Why?" he asked, settling back down.

"I should have told you when I found out" Aaron's eyes were glazed, his face red from the sickness he'd just endured.

"Found out what?" Paddy's voice was shaky, clearly panicked now.

"I've got testicular cancer and its spreading, I was told not to take any other medications I'm on a lot as it is, this is day two and it's killing me Paddy" Aaron put his face in his hands and sobbed.

Paddy slumped in shock against the wall, speechless at first but then realised his feelings had to be sidelined, at least for now; he had to be strong for Aaron. His son needed him. There was never any doubt to anyone that Paddy was his 'real' dad. He'd done more than Gordon had ever done for him.

Paddy leaned forward and pulled him into a tight hug, not mad that he hadn't told him straight away – nothing like that. Just scared, that's all Paddy felt at that moment in time. "We'll get through this – me and you together" his voice firm and confident

Aaron looked up at him and nodded, as he wiped his eyes. Seconds later the sound of the door being knocked echoed through the house. "I'll go get that just relax" he told him as he got up and left the bathroom.

Answering the door, he saw a young man, he seemed familiar and then it occurred to him when he remembered him from.

"Hi, I'm Jackson is Aaron here? I'd really like to speak to him, it's important" Jackson told him.

"Um, yeah but he's not-" Paddy began to reply before being interrupted.

"It's really important" Jackson repeated a little more forcefully this time.

"Alright hang on a sec..." Paddy looked up the stairs and shouted. "Aaron there's a Jackson here to see you"

The muffled reply from Aaron came. "Send him up"

Paddy nodded. "Ok..." and he opened the door wider to allow him entry.

Aaron had been freshening up a little, drenched his face in cold water and flushed the toilet and opened the window, he now sat on the edge of the bath waiting. He stood when Paddy walked in. Aaron felt a little uncomfortable now in this situation.

"I know..." Paddy smiled. "It's alright" he reassured him. "I had my inclination a while ago..."

Aaron's lower lip quivered and he nodded to him in appreciation for his understanding.

Paddy walked out of the bathroom and allowed Jackson entry.

Jackson frowned. "You okay?" he asked.

"Um, no not really, really not well today..." he told him as he brushed past him and walked to his bedroom.

Jackson followed, and watched Aaron very carefully lie down on the bed and Jackson sat down beside him. "Since you ignored my texts I've come to tell you that I wasn't getting cosy with another bloke the other day, to be honest I was wishing you'd hurry up to rescue me" Jackson smiled to himself, he understood why Aaron was lying on his side facing away from him – he couldn't confront his feelings much like Jackson didn't want too at first but now he would. "I really like you Aaron, from the first time we met, I just knew I could fall in love with you and I know that might sound stupid considering the amount of time we've spent together but it could happen if you let me?" he asked.

"It's not stupid" Aaron quietly replied as tears strolled down his cheeks and dropped off his nose.

"Well then let me in Aaron, let me help you adjust to being gay, I'm here and I'm not going anywhere"

Aaron listened silently; he whisked his hand across his eyes to wipe the tears away. He thought about what Jackson was saying. _What If I don't make it through this? I can't waste what time I might have left and I do like Jackson, I wouldn't have kissed him that day if I didn't – Just man up Aaron, listen to somebody for a change _he told himself. And with that thought, he turned on his back, leaned up on his elbows and kissed Jackson passionately and placed one of his hands on the side of Jacksons face, it softly brushed against the stubble on his upper neck as they were locked in a passionate embrace.

Several seconds later they stopped kissing each other but their heads remained touching at their foreheads. "I could fall in love with you too" Aaron whispered.

"Good, I should hope so, I'm a good catch if I do say so myself" Jackson smirked and Aaron smiled.

"Paddy knows by the way..."

"Oh?" Jackson asked.

"Yeah...seems he had an idea all along"

"Well he must be alright with it then"

Aaron nodded his head to the side slightly. "Yeah, I guess so" he smirked.

Jackson slapped Aaron's leg slightly. "Right so, if you're not well...I should help, you want anything?" he asked.

"No" Aaron shook his head slowly. "No...Don't fancy anything, I just need to sleep"

Jackson nodded. "Alright" he rubbed his arm gently as Aaron lay back down.

"Get comfy, I'm not going anywhere" he told him.

Jackson woke slowly, lying next to Aaron with his arm over his side, he was still asleep. As Jackson sat up his eyes squinted at the sunlight still coming through the window as it had been earlier. He grabbed his phone from the bedside table and checked the time. He'd been asleep a good few hours. He leaned down to Aaron sleeping and kissed him on his cheek before slowly moving off the bed and leaving the room quietly. Walking down the stairs; he rubbed his eyes and walked into the kitchen to see Paddy. "Hi..." he smiled. "Sorry am I interrupting?" he asked, realising he'd broken some kind of deep concentration.

Paddy jumped up from his chair at the table. "No – no...Just worried about him, he's never been this ill before..." Paddy kept the details to himself, he wasn't sure if Aaron would have told him.

"Ahh I'm sure he'll be fine" Jackson smiled.

As Paddy walked to the bench and picked the kettle up he turned to Jackson. "So you're the new boyfriend then?"

He nodded. "Well first one, but yeah" he smiled. It felt good to be called that.

"I'm pleased for you both, I really am, since Chas' death he's been lost, I mean I know he has me and I do my best but he needs someone like you"

"You can rely on me Paddy – I'm not gonna hurt him" Jackson told him honestly.

Paddy nodded. "I know...I've got a good feeling about you, coffee? Tea?" he asked.

An hour or so both men were still chatting, mainly about Aaron. Jackson learned a lot about him, his past, what he was like, his strengths, his abilities, and also his weaknesses, what trouble he used to get into but that didn't deter him in the slightest – it was official Aaron Livesy was a mystery and Jackson loved that about him.

Their talk was disturbed by footsteps quickly running across the landing and into the bathroom and the sound of more vomiting. Jackson bolted from his chair and ran upstairs with Paddy closely behind.

Jackson fell to his knees beside him and comforted Aaron. Aaron pushed him away, he just needed room and it wasn't pleasant. Jackson stayed close though.

Aaron settled again after a few minutes, immediately exhausted – it was horrible.

"Aaron..." Paddy spoke. "I-I don't want to intervene and I know it's your choice ultimately...but I'm sorry, I think Jackson has a right to know because it's going to get worse and it's not fair that you hide it any longer..."

Jackson frowned and turned quickly to Paddy then back at Aaron. "You're worrying me now...tell me what?" he asked, but there was no reply from either of them. "Tell me what?" he demanded.

To Be Continued...


	6. 6 Integrity

"Integrity "

*This fanfic follows on from _The Beginning_

# Disclaimer – I do not own Emmerdale or any of the characters used.

**PLEASE READ**: I want to thank you all for the kind and positive feedback many of you have given me about my writing and this very sensitive storyline I have chosen to write.

I will in my best ability do the characters justice – I do apologise if some of the medical information/terminology is incorrect in any way shape or form, aswell as any of the details surrounding this disease.

I am only writing this to show the physical and mental impact I imagine this would have on relationships and a family. To me the minor details aren't the main concern of what I'm attempting to portray. I hope you can understand this.

Thankyou x

* * *

><p>"God you two are like a pair of old women, you should go join Betty in the pub – have a good old gossip – I'll be fine" Aaron said cheekily as he stood up, still feeling violently ill. He flushed the toilet again and turned to Paddy and gave him the evils.<p>

Paddy sighed. "Well I just worry Aaron, I did tell you never to try cooking anything other than fish fingers, chips and beans" Paddy pretended - he was never good at that. Whether Jackson saw through all of this was anyone's guess.

Aaron walked past Paddy and onto the landing, releasing a deep exhale once alone and then walked straight to his bedroom.

But of course Jackson wasn't stupid – he didn't know what, but something wasn't fitting right with all of this – something he would keep a close eye on, but on the other hand he might have just been over worrying. Jackson stood properly now. "You better be" he said as if replying to Aaron's statement he'd made only a few seconds beforehand.

Paddy slightly smiled at him as Jackson walked out of the bathroom too.

Walking along the landing again to Aaron's room he knocked on the door to which Aaron replied with "Come In" literally a second later after he'd knocked. Jackson walked in and sat on the edge of the bed beside Aaron and smiled at him as he placed his arm around his back.

Aaron hesitantly leaned against him but once he was resting against him he immediately felt comfortable and it was as if his body sank into Jackson. _I want him so bad _Aaron thought, but that exact thought depressed him because he didn't want too at the same time considering the nature of his illness, he wouldn't feel right at all. Under other circumstances he would jump at the chance to become one with him.

Jackson kissed Aaron's head softly. "How do you feel?" he asked.

"Hmm...a little better" Aaron replied.

"Well how about if we get some fresh air – take a walk up to the pub it's a nice night, and on me" he smiled. "Just me and you"

Aaron smiled and nodded. "Yeah" he agreed. "I'll have a shower first if that's ok?"

Jackson nodded. "Sure"

Aaron got up and left the bedroom and walked into the shower. Jackson lay down on the bed, his mind still going over what happened in the bathroom.

The minutes passed quickly and Aaron walked into the bedroom again with a towel around his waist. His body wet and Jackson sat up and smirked at him.

"What?" Aaron asked with a laugh.

"You're hot" Jackson simply replied.

Aaron frowned. "No, that's you" he turned and winked at him as he started to dry off.

Jackson walked up behind him and put his arms around his waist. "No you definitely are" he grinned before kissing his neck, and then he moved back and sat on the bed allowing Aaron to get dressed.

"God I've never known anyone so obsessed with their hair!" Jackson laughed. "C'mon babe on top of choosing what to wear and then this I've been waiting nearly half an hour!"

Aaron frowned and smiled at the same time and turned away from the mirror and looked at Jackson. "Did you just call me babe?" he asked, double checking.

Jackson's smile was wide when Aaron asked him that. "Yeah..." he nodded. "Yeah I guess I did"

Aaron smiled back. "And I'll have you know, my hair has to be perfect"

"Why who you expect to be checking you out in the woolly? Pearl?" he teased.

"Nahh" Aaron shook his head. "Just you I hope"

"Well depends doesn't it..." he smirked to which Aaron swiftly turned and threw his trackie bottoms at him

As Aaron's trackie bottoms fell onto Jackson a slip of one of his medications fell out into Jackson's lap, something Aaron didn't see as he'd already turned back to the mirror and continued to titivate his hair.

Jackson folded Aaron's pants up and placed them beside him, when he looked down to grab his phone he saw them – on his legs and he picked them up, the sound of the crinkling of the foil that covered whatever tablets they were caused Aaron to turn around and he panicked.

"Whats these?" Jackson asked. "They don't look like paracetemol or anything normal..." he frowned. "Platinol? Whatever that is? You wanna tell me what's going on Aaron?"

Aaron walked quickly to his bedside table, opened the drawer and took out two more boxes, one labelled Vepesid and the other Blenoxane. He threw them on the bed, and fell onto it. "I didn't want you to know but then I think why not, you should..." Aaron told him as Jackson took the tablet boxes and read them, they gave no real answers.

"Aaron I might aswell be reading Arabic...What are these for?" Jackson asked. "And you're worrying me now seriously, pack it in, it's not nice"

"It's not nice!" Aaron exclaimed but couldn't help laughing. "Ohh let's just go have that walk..." he said as he walked to his door and left the room.

Jackson followed him quickly, Aaron had already left the house, and he had to run to catch up – his boy was fast.

"Aaron wait up will you?" he called after him and Aaron eventually stopped at the side of the road.

Aside from the slight noise from inside the pub the village was silent, it was a calm night accompanied at times by a slight breeze. Aaron turned to face Jackson. "You wanna know do ya? Are you sure about that because as soon as I tell you you're going to run a mile, I can feel it" he began to cry. "You're just gunna go"

Jackson's expression was filled with worry and he placed both of his hands at Aaron's side gripping each arm slightly. He was shaking his head. "I won't – Aaron just tell me" he pleaded.

Aaron pulled away and turned; and walked a few steps forward to the kerb and he sat down. His back was facing away from his lover. The orange tinge from the street lights reflected in his eyes as he looked up to the night sky. He was shaking, his headache was returning. He took a deep breath as he pulled his knees in to his chest and rested his chin on them. "I've got stage two testicular cancer Jackson, stage two meaning its spread, the medication I showed you, that's chemotherapy, I started them a few days ago"

Jackson fell at Aaron's side and he took him in his arms. "You should have just told me" he said as his eyes began to fill.

"It's not something I intended on telling people – I just wanted to deal with this alone but living with Paddy and the sickness and the constant disappearances to the hospital that are about to start... Well he would have known something was up and found out eventually."

"You can't act all tough every single second of each day Aaron – everybody falls" he took a breath. "Look at me now"

Aaron slowly turned to face Jackson and as Jackson stared into his eyes it broke his heart even more than what the news had done already, he could see his pain, his anger, confusion and fear as his eyes were like a book that could be read easily. "I'm not going anywhere Aaron – I know it'll be hard, some days you'll try pushing me away, some days you'll need me, some days you might not even know whether you're coming or going and I know that, but I wanna be with you and no matter how long it takes for you to fight this-"he stopped as the lump in his throat felt like it was about to explode.. He sobbed and cupped Aaron's cheek in the palm of his hand as he looked at him. "I'll be at your side, no matter what happens"

At this point Aaron wrapped his arms around Jackson and broke down completely. "I don't want to die" he cried and cried on Jackson's shoulder as with each passing second the hug between the two men became solid and unbreakable.

"You're not gunna die silly, a lot of people survive this"

"I know but there's still a chance and I'm scared! I feel like I've finally figured out who I am, I found you and it's all just going to be ripped up from beneath me"

"I know you're scared Aaron, but you're strong" Jackson smiled as best he could, their gaze still locked on each others. "A fighter, you can do this"

Aaron smiled warmly at Jackson. "Buttt I'm gunna lose my perfect amazing hair" he lowered his bottom lip in exaggeration of sadness.

"Oh but Aaron..." Jacksons head inclined sideways and a funny look spread across his face. "Nothing can beat Aarson" he grinned then realised what he'd actually said, then made sense of it.

Aaron laughed. "What?"

"You know, Aaron – Jackson our names combined"

Aaron laughed harder. "Oh god Jackson Walsh you are just something else..." he said with a loving smile on his face. He went quiet for a second. "But I-I do love you Jackson, this has made me realise how short life can be and I can't afford to be stubborn, so there ya go"

Jackson just smiled widely and pulled him in close and kissed him. "I love you too Mr. Livesy – now how about we get to the pub eh?" he smiled again.

To Be Continued...


	7. 7 In It Together

"In It Together "

*This fanfic follows on _**ONE**_ _**WEEK**_ from _Integrity_

# Disclaimer – I do not own Emmerdale or any of the characters used.

The beeps, the echoes of the tannoy in the not so far distance, the squeaking of the doors and their shoes on the floor as the doctors and nurses walked around – even the smell was a little too clinically for Jackson as he sat and held his boyfriends hand.

Aaron lay on the hospital bed, his second visit this week. He was grateful for Jackson being there with him. Jackson smiled at him as he picked up a celebrity gossip magazine and started to read it while still holding Aaron's hand.

Aaron smiled and laid his head back on the pillow – he couldn't feel the intravenous drip penetrating the skin on the back of his hand. As he looked around, he saw a little girl being lead into the room by her mother and a nurse, both holding each of her hands as she walked – she was ill too, she was around nine years old – he guessed leukemia as it was a common form of cancer in children. When the little girl stared up at Aaron and smiled he gives her a little wave with his free hand and a sympathetic smile. The girl smiled back at him before being led out of sight.

Jackson saw his wave and turned and saw the little girl down the corridor; he turned back at Aaron and smirked. "You're just a big softie at heart aren't ya?" he asked lovingly.

Aaron looked at him with his typical scowl. "Shut up will ya" he sighed, turned his head and smirked. "Got a reputation you know"

To which Jackson laughed at. "Whatever you've got as much of a reputation as that tree out there"

Aaron turned back, still scowling. "Do one"

Jackson knew he was only joking and shook his head, and looked back down at the magazine. He was sick of it a few minutes later – his mind was with Aaron, not some 'fake' life that was portrayed in the media all because they were rich and famous, who cares if the latest musician, actress has just had a baby, _who cares?_ He asked himself again. _My boy has got cancer and he might die – that's real life, you don't see that slapped all over the magazines and papers though do ya – no _he thought and got rather agitated with it too. _If one of them got it though, would be a different story – makes me sick _he thought some more, he became increasingly annoyed and upset at the thought. The fact he was tired might have had something to do with it – he hadn't sleep much recently but he didn't mind it– he'd rather be awake all hours of the night, making sure he was ok. "You ok handsome?" he asked with a smile.

Aaron turned on his side and looked at him deeply. "….Tray..." was all he said.

Jackson bolted into action and reached behind him and grabbed one from the high pile and held it in front of Aaron; almost immediately he was violently sick. He leaned forward and held him close rubbing his back. While doing this; tears instantly ran down Jackson's cheeks. It was absolutely heart wrenching to see him like this – all he wanted was to take it all away and he couldn't – that was the worst part.

When Aaron settled the nurse arrived half an hour later, smiling. "Hello Aaron, you're ok to go now, we got your bloods and tests done from earlier we should have the results for you when we see you next time" she smiled again.

Aaron nodded. "Thanks"

"Like each visit you're going to feel exhausted – but I'm sure you're strapping man here can help you home" she smirked.

Aaron laughed. "Oh he will" he agreed and Jackson nodded also.

"And ill" she continued. "I'm sure you know the drill" she told him as she removed the catheter and placed it in a plastic bag and put it in the yellow waste bin close to the bed and then put a dressing around his hand to stop any bleeding that may occur.

Aaron nodded. "Second nature now" he smiled.

The nurse nodded sympathetically. "See you next time" she smiled and walked away.

Outside the hospital, the fresh air hit them both it was very refreshing after being in there for quite a while. Jackson had his arm around Aaron, helping him along a little; he could see how exhausted he was. "Jackson…" the faint voice of Aaron beside him spoke and he turned to him.

"Yeah babe?" he asked.

"Will you shave my hair off when we get home?" he asked.

Jackson sighed silently, he knew why he was asking this, but he also knew how much time he took on his hair - _**This is a masterpiece**_the words Aaron spoke to him on several occasions echoed in his mind. "Of course I will" he nodded, fighting back the lump in his throat as they approached his van.

A few minutes later, once he'd gotten Aaron settled they were on their way, as he drove he kept looking at him. "Aaron I love you" he said sincerely.

Aaron was resting his head completely back on the head rest and his body turned slightly to watch Jackson. He placed his hand over his which was on the gear stick. "I love you too, so much" he replied, forcing himself not to become tearful.

Jackson smiled. "I know…So how do you think Debbie and Cain are taking the news?" he asked. "I guess they had to know as early as possible"

"Yeah" Aaron nodded. "Probably the same as everyone I imagine"

Jackson nodded and the rest of the drive was silent.

A while later, they were back in Smithy cottage – Paddy hadn't long finished work and was sat waiting. He asked how it went; he felt horrible because he couldn't go this time again, but made a promise that he would go with them next time.

In his room, Aaron was sat on the floor in front of the mirror. "Just do it Jackson" he smiled at him through the mirror. The instant vibration sound from the shaver filled the room as Jackson began shaving his boyfriend's hair off.

When Jackson was done a few minutes later – he placed the shaver down and brushed the fallen pieces of hair away. Aaron stood up. "Thankyou" he smiled gratefully.

Jackson kissed him passionately. "I still would" he winked.

Aaron knew what he was saying instantly and he smiled. "Yeah yeah – just going to take a shower"

"Just shout if you need anything" Jackson told him as he left the room, and his phone began ringing. He picked it up and answered it with a sigh. "Alright mum?" he asked.

Jackson was sat on his bed; with his head in his hands he'd been crying while still on the phone to his mum, she'd comforted him as she always had done, it was then the decision was made and the call ended. As he stared at the floor, thinking back on their quick conversation the shaver caught his eye.

Aaron was slowly removing his clothes – he stood in silence to make sure he would last long enough to make it through the shower without being sick – he took the chance as he reached for the button on the shower he heard a noise – the sound of the shavers vibrating again, he frowned in confusion. "Jackson?" he asked himself…..

To Be Continued….


	8. 8 One Of Those Days

"One Of Those Days"

WRITTEN BY DAYNE DINNING

*This fanfic follows on from _In It Together_

# Disclaimer – I do not own Emmerdale or any of the characters used.

As they walked the streets of Hotten, Aaron couldn't help but keep looking at Jackson and he laughed. "You look hot and everything but you really didn't have to shave your hair off for me you know" Aaron told him.

Jackson turned to him and smiled. "I know but I wanted too" he replied.

It meant so much to Aaron that he'd done that for him, it meant the world that Jackson had actually stuck around when he'd imagined him running a mile. But doing that also? Words could not explain how supportive that was for him. "Well, thankyou" he watched Jackson as they walked – he could see how concerned he was for him but the overall thing that overpowered it all was Jackson's love for him, and Aaron loved him back with all his heart.

They entered a clothing store, Jackson had been complaining about getting some new clothes and this was the only chance he'd had to look. Aaron followed him in and was instantly bored to tears.

"You know, forget that look Livesy" Jackson smirked. "You could do with a new wardrobe as it is" he laughed.

"No" Aaron laughed. "My clothes are fine thanks very much" he spoke and something at the back end of the shop caught his eye. "But there is something..." his speech kind of trailed off as he walked towards it.

Jackson looked up from the rack of tops he was flicking through, to find Aaron no longer leaning against the rail. At first he panicked and jolted from where he was. "Aaron!" he called and when he looked down the walkway and saw him, he let out a breath of relief. He followed him.

When he felt Jacksons body right up close behind him, he turned his gaze round to him. "I need a hat though..." he smirked.

Jackson smiled and nodded. "Then I'll get you one" he replied and kissed him on the lips. Neither of them cared one bit about what people thought of public displays of affection.

Immediately Aaron felt warm from the passionate kiss his boyfriend had planted so softly on him. "Right then...let's choose – I mean what do bald cancer patients wear?" he genuinely didn't know.

Jackson frowned and gave him a look.

"Sorry!" Aaron retorted. "Just stating the truth" he chuckled.

"Yeah and you have no idea how many times I'd wished it weren't the truth..." he sighed and continued. "Anything babe, there's no set attire obviously – just whatever you're going to be comfortable in" Jackson replied as he looked for one for him aswell.

Aaron looked at him thoughtfully before continuing to look through the selection. He found one a few minutes later and picked it up. "A beanie?" Jackson asked.

Aaron nodded. "Yeah why not?" he smirked.

"Try it on then ya muppet" Jackson laughed.

Aaron pulled the black coloured beanie over his head and straightened it out. "Well?" he asked.

"Suits you" Jackson replied with a smile. "And are you sure that's all you need?" Jackson double checked.

"Yes my wardrobe is fine" Aaron nodded.

Jackson raised his eyebrow. "Yeah if you say so" he said sarcastically.

Aaron whacked him on the arm playfully as they continued to look around.

When they arrived back home, it was almost one, Jackson was upstairs getting changed into his work clothes; it wasn't official but Jackson had pretty much moved in, he brought clothes from his flat when he needed them and he'd also started chipping in with bills and food. The boots he wore sounded loud stomps down the stairs; Aaron heard them as he was curled up on the sofa with a blanket. He tried to fight back the fatigue as he lay there quietly as Jackson walked in and knelt down in front of him. "Do you need anything before I go?" he asked.

Aaron shook his head and sighed. "Nahh, I'm alright, cheers though" he smiled.

Jackson nodded. "Right then, well I've gotta go get some work done, my phone will be on if you need me, I mean it, call"

"Yes Jackson" he replied as if he was a school kid replying to a teacher. "But seriously though – Paddy will be back from call soon"

Jackson smiled and kissed him before leaving.

As the door slammed shut Aaron got up from the sofa and looked out the window and watched slyly through the blinds as Jackson drove away. It was then when the coast was clear he decided to go upstairs and get changed into his overalls.

He knew he'd have opposition if Paddy came back so he carefully opened the front door, peaked out and with no sign of his car he walked out, locked the door and made his way quickly down through the village to the garage. When he turned the corner, he saw Cain working on a car and Debbie at the desk doing paperwork. "Alright?" he asked as he approached them.

Cain turned at the sound of his voice. "Yeah, you?" he asked as Debbie walked out aswell. She instantly noted how frail he had rapidly become and it pulled at her heartstrings; he was pale, losing weight, he looked exhausted and weak.

"Nice hat" she commented.

"Oh that-"he smirked. "Yeah, thought it was best" he replied sensing as though they were treading on egg shells around him.

"Why you dressed for work Aaron?" Cain asked.

"Well ya see" the sarcasm clear. "Because it's my job and I've got nothing else to do" he bluntly replied.

"Not here you haven't" Debbie was along the same lines as Cain.

Aaron scowled. "You what? So you sacking me?" his scowl deepened.

"No Aaron, no one said that – we're just looking out for you, your job right now is in that house up there resting, you're job will still be here when you get better" Debbie replied.

Aaron shook his head aggressively. "That's bull shit and you know it!" he turned and started walking away.

"Have some faith Aaron, what would your mum say?"

"I dunno she isn't here is she?" he yelled back upset and angry, he just wanted something to do.

Debbie walked after him and walked him go back up the village. "Should I go after him?" she asked Cain.

Cain shook his head. "No it's best left, he'll understand why were doing this...eventually"

"Hmmm...well all the same I'm ringing Jackson" she walked away quickly back into the garage and picked up her mobile and started calling Jackson it took a few seconds for it to connect. "Hi Jackson it's Debbie...I think we have a slight problem..."

Aaron stormed back into Smithy cottage and instantly flung the kitchen table on its side, every single item on the benches were swiped off. The anger in his face was clear. He walked into the living room and kicked the single chair on its side aswell. He placed his hands on the window sill and looked out, breathless – very breathless to the point he was almost struggling. He took several deep breaths to get it back under control. Then in a split second he left bolted back into the kitchen and left the house again, heading out of the village and into one of the fields. His pace was slow and his body thwarted to stall if he didn't take it easy. Now ten minutes later he was quite a distance from the village he sat against a fence just thinking.

Jacksons van screeched as he pulled up outside the cottage and ran inside to see the majority of the downstairs trashed, with no one to be seen, he rang Paddy to get him home as soon as he possibly could as he checked upstairs. The call ended as he ran out of the house and down to the garage. "What the hell happened Debbie?" he yelled, his tone panicked.

Debbie was at a loss, she let her arms fall down to her sides. "He came down here with his overalls on ready for work"

"Well that's not how I left him" Jackson told her.

She shrugged. "Point is, we refused him, and you understand why" to which Jackson nodded.

"But no, not Aaron and he got angry and stormed off" she carried on.

"Well that'll explain why the house is trashed, but he isn't there now" he sighed, his head lowered.

"Do you want us to call Paddy?" Cain asked.

"No I've already done that" Jackson replied. "I've gotta look for him – if you see him send him home Paddy's coming back now"

Debbie nodded as Cain downed tools. "I'll go ask around" he sighed. "It's the least I can do" he told them.

"Thanks" Jackson replied as he ran off. _Where the hell would he go? _He asked himself. _Adam's! _The thought came to him and he ran back to the van and headed to the house.

Several minutes later after speaking to Moira and finding out that Adam wasn't even in the village, he had to guess again, when the slammed the van door he leaned against the steering wheel and thought. _Right...think Jackson...Aaron; moody, stubborn, quiet – ahh got it, problem is, this is Yorkshire, there's hundreds – soddin' fields_ he thought as he turned the key in the ignition and sped off.

Aaron had continued to walk after becoming quickly fed up of the last few at his previous stop. He was pushing his body too far; it could not handle the pace he wished to go but yet he pushed his limits and quickly regretted it when he became nauseous and fell against a fence and was instantly sick. He doubled over in pain hitting the grass hard; he was clutching at his stomach but he lay there numb, his eyes wide and glazed.

It was almost twenty minutes later when he heard faint familiar shouting in the distance, which was soon coming closer.

Jackson had almost passed him but had to double back and when he saw Aaron lying on his side, with his arms over his stomach, he saw red and instantly flipped. "AARON WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING? PADDY IS WORRIED SICK, CAINS OUT LOOKING, IVE BEEN SCARED OUT OF MY WITS LOOKING FOR YOU, MOIRA'S GOT ADAM ON ALERT, YOU'VE GOT THE WHOLE VILLAGE IN UPROAR AND ITS NOT FAIR

Tears streamed down Aarons face as he still lay there numb. "I just wanted some normality" he said quietly.

Jackson raised his arms up to his head in frustration and flung them back down. "YES BUT THINK HOW THIS IS AFFECTING ME AARON, HAVE YOU ACTUALLY CONSIDERED ME IN ALL OF THIS? PADDY,CAIN EVERYBODY? HAVE YOU? NO I DOUBT YOU HAVE, YOU'VE JUST RAN AWAY SELFISHLY LIKE A COWARD!" Jackson was seething with anger but at the same time the only reason he was this angry was because he cared.

"Coward?" Aaron asked.

"Yeah, you are Aaron, but then again running away is your answer to everything, well doesn't do you much good does it?" he questioned. "I mean you've pushed yourself too much I can see that Aaron and its obvious you're in pain, you can't just storm off because of what mood you're in or how you feel, pushing yourself might make things worse" he took a breath, fighting the lump which was developing in his throat as his eyes stung as the tears began to form "YOU CAN'T do it, okay! You can't" Jackson fell to his knees and placed his head in his hands as he sobbed. "Aaron..." he spoke once he'd calmed himself. "I'd love for you to be able to go to work but you have to understand you can't you have to rest, you know aswell as I do you're tired, you can't fight it babe, and I've been trying to give you some normality, shopping, the pub, romantic nights, talking about nothing, making each other laugh, but they don't seem to be suiting you Aaron, so what will?"

Aaron pushed himself up to face him properly. He shrugged. "My old life"

"Well" Jackson sighed. "that's gone, for now anyway, you have to adjust to this one and you will and I'll help you so get up off your backside and get back to that cottage and apologise to Paddy for trashing the place, he's worried sick" Jackson sighed as Aaron got up without another word and started walking back to the village.

Jackson got to his feet and watched him go, he wiped his tears and walked the few steps towards him and took him in his arms and hugged him tightly.

"I'm sorry" Aaron's grip was firm once he'd wrapped his arms around Jackson's body. "I'm so sorry" It then hit him the impact this was having on everyone else and yes he had being selfish – it wasn't just about him but Jackson only wanted him to understand the effects his actions had on the others around him and that he couldn't do what he'd done again and on top of that his body made him suffer for it, he was feeling it now.

The couple walked back down to the village silent at first, but then started talking about anything and everything they could think of, occasionally stopping every now and then for rest.

To Be Continued...


	9. 9 The Ties That Bind

"The Ties That Bind"

WRITTEN BY DAYNE DINNING

*This fanfic follows on **5 **days from One Of Those Days

# Disclaimer – I do not own Emmerdale or any of the characters used.

Smithy cottage was completely silent; Aaron, Jackson and Paddy were sat in the kitchen, Aaron was sat on the bench and Paddy and Jackson were sat at the table, they were all ready to go. Aaron was staring down at the floor below him and Paddy and Jackson exchanged looks every few minutes, it wasn't as though the atmosphere was awkward, it was more tense than anything. Today was a big day – Aaron would find out if his chemotherapy and other treatments were killing the cancer cells that had spread their way to his lymph nodes in between the kidneys. He was so scared and in typical Aaron style he kept quiet about it.

The silence was broken by the door knocking and then it suddenly open, all of them hearing a loud sigh, Jackson turned to face the doorway. "Oh god" he put his head in his hands briefly. _Not today of all days _he thought. "Mum!" he got up. "You don't just barge in" he turned to Paddy apologetically as he was about to speak.

Paddy shook his head and waved his hand a little as he shook it off.

Jackson smiled gratefully before going to his mother and helping her with her case. "Hello darling" she smiled widely and gave him a tight hug. She sighed again. "I said to myself Hazel, you've gone and messed up again, Emmer what I said, and then it clicked, you said Emmerdale and then I realised I was in the right place, bloody taxi fares around here, still had to pay it though didn't I?" she sighed. "Not my fault I got the address wrong" she sighed again as she looked around at what she could see from the small hallway. "Nice place" she smiled.

Hazel walked into the kitchen before he could warn her of the mood inside. She immediately felt like she had walked into something and looked back at Jackson and he shrugged a little. _Didn't give me chance _he thought. "I'm sorry is this a bad time?" she asked.

Aarons gaze remained hidden under his hood as he still stared down at the kitchen floor. Hazel looked at him and felt sad immediately. Jackson had kept her notified about the goings on but she had to be honest, she was not prepared for this as much as she thought she would be. But still, she wanted to be here for Jackson and Aaron, although she didn't know him that didn't stop her caring. If Jackson said he loved him then that was enough for her.

Paddy jumped up from his chair and held out his hand. "Hazel, it's nice to meet you, Jackson's talked a lot about you"

Hazel shot a questionable look at her son. "Good I hope"

"Of course" Paddy smiled as Hazel took his hand and shook it.

Hazel smiled and looked towards Aaron and hesitated speaking to him. Paddy saw this and shook his head at her with a wary face. She nodded too in understanding.

"Mum, we've gotta go to the hospital now..." Jackson spoke.

"Yeah we do...erm, make yourself comfortable, we shouldn't be too long" Paddy smiled.

"Hmmm I don't see that happening, boys eh? Look at the mess, I know I'll have this place sparkling for when you get back" she smiled. "Least I can do, and I don't take no for an answer"

"Oh trust me Paddy you should just let her get on with it, saves arguing" Jackson smirked.

"Hey cheeky!" Hazel shook her head lovingly at Jackson as he approached Aaron.

Paddy led Hazel into the living area to show her around and to give Aaron and Jackson a few minutes.

"How is he Paddy?" she asked.

Paddy unsurprisingly broke down, he had felt it coming for weeks, he'd held it together for so long but now he couldn't, he put his head in his hands. And Hazel held her arms out to give him a hug to a man she didn't even know. "He'll be okay you know?" she spoke softly to him.

Paddy was grateful for her being there, he had Jackson but he needed some one of a similar age to talk too. "But what if he isn't?" Paddy struggled with those words, and he wiped his tears away quickly and placed them back on his face.

"Well...if it does come to that then he has the best people around him, but he's young there's every chance" she assured him.

"But I don't know how long he left it, or if he caught it early, I guess not considering it spread from his first results" Paddy panicked slightly as he spoke.

Hazel rubbed his arm. "Like I said darling, there's every chance, you have to stay positive for Aaron, cause I guarantee he won't be, he'll be thinking the worst"

Paddy smiled "You're a wise woman Hazel – thankyou"

Hazel smiled and nodded. "I know, been told that many times..."

Jackson placed his hand on his shoulder and knelt down to look up at him. "It's time handsome" he smiled. "I know you're scared, you won't admit it but you are, but we're here, all of us – whatever the outcome of today, we aren't going anywhere"

Aaron remained silent and jumped down off the bench and headed for the door as Paddy walked back out and followed him out of the house. Jackson was last and Hazel stood behind him. "Stay strong my love"

Jackson let out a deep a breath and almost trembled with it. "I'll try" his gaze focused outside. "See you soon" he stepped out of the house and opened his van.

Hazel closed the door behind him and stood thinking for a few minutes before setting about with her cleaning.

As he did in the house Aaron sat yet again staring down at the floor, in the same boring waiting room he always had done, it depressed him. Well it wasn't like there was anything else that could depress him lately. Moments later his name was called and Aaron stood with Jackson and Paddy and they followed him into the doctor's office.

There were four chairs set out, so Paddy gathered it was ok for them to be in too. Jackson held his hand tightly as he sat next to him.

The doctor gathered Aaron was on another planet. He opened up his file – he had already seen the results but wanted to double check a few things again first.

Jackson's breath haltered for a good few seconds until the doctor began speaking.

"Nice to see you again Aaron, I only wish it was under better circumstances..." The doctor spoke to which he received no reply. "I've got your results and I'm afraid it's bad news" he spoke softly – Aaron did nothing, he didn't even flinch, but Jackson did. As did Paddy, his lower lip began to quiver and he lowered his head, his hands clasped together tightly.

"You're cancer has now progressed into stage three, tests results show the cancerous cells have made their way to your lungs, this would explain your trouble breathing..." he stopped for a second to allow it to sink in.

"There are further treatments, surgeries we can do but in my professional opinion, they would only prolong the inevitable" he explained.

Tears silently ran down Jackson and Paddy's faces.

Aaron finally lifted his head, his eyes were full but the tears weren't quite coming. "How long?" he spoke.

"With additional treatment" he thought. "Six months to a year, without any more three to six months"

"Okay" Aaron nodded. "Thankyou" he replied and simply let go of Jackson's hand, stood up and walked out of the office and past the reception area and out to the main entrance.

To Be Continued...


	10. 10 Acceptance

"Acceptance"

*This fanfic follows on from _The Ties That Bind_

# Disclaimer – I do not own Emmerdale or any of the characters used.

~Thankyou for the continued reviews guys, now ten stories in :D - as always I appreciate them so much, just makes me more eager to continue! Please continue to read and review x

As soon as he left the hospital Aaron legged it as fast as he physically could, he caught a bus back home and once back in the village – he legged it again – he knew where he wanted to go.

Paddy and Jackson were panicking when they left the hospital to find Aaron nowhere to be seen. They hurried to his van and searched around and near the hospital; they still couldn't see him.

"Ahhh where is he? And why the hell did he do that!" Jackson was raging, slamming his hands down on the steering wheel as he drove.

"I-I don't know Jackson, he probably headed home, let's focus our efforts there and his reasons for walking out without a word and not mentioning further treatments will be explained because we need to know what's going on in that head of his"

"Paddy he's just been told he's going to die! How the hell do you think he feels?" Jackson shouted angrily, his anger overriding the actual sadness rising within him.

"I know Jackson! I know alright, I heard the same words you did! We're going to lose him" Paddy took a breath as the realisation hit him and he began to cry. "And we have to accept it but you know what I can't – stop the van I need to get out"

Jackson was surprised by Paddy's reactions and did as he was asked and pulled up on the roadside and stopped, Paddy immediately got out of the van and stood with his hands on his hips. Jackson walked around the front of the van and stood a few metres behind him. "I can't accept it either Paddy. I love him so much and he's gonna just go and there's not a damn thing I can DO" he spoke those final words in anger as his hands clenched forming fists.

Paddy turned to face the sobbing Jackson that stood now, in front of him. Paddy stared blankly passed Jackson at nothing as he began to speak. "Ever since I found out, I think I got it into my head that this was just a temporary illness, I don't mean like the flu but something that just came and went you know"

Jackson nodded as he intently watched and listened to Paddy.

"And waking every night to see the light from the bathroom seeping through to my room and the violent sickness and I got up and was at his side, then you came aswell and we both were, and then when he'd settled I'd go back to bed and I'd push that thought back into my mind, because I wanted to believe it would just move on – move on to someone else, Aaron's not perfect I know that but I just wished this bad thing could happen to a criminal instead, not MY Aaron"

Jackson watched as Paddy completely broke down before him. Jackson looked up to him because of how strong he always seemed but he had forgotten that people broke at times and this was Paddy's breaking point and the tears from his eyes increased as he walked to him and pulled him into a hug.

Aaron was on the grassy roadside of the very same road his mother had died, he sat only metres away from where the car accident took place. He'd been there for a good hour now, and as someone alone would normally do he remained silent until for some reason he chose to speak. He looked up to the full white clouds, as if searching. His eyes were stinging from the seemingly continuous flowing tears. "I can't believe I'm actually doing this" he said as he wiped his nose on his sleeve. "But I've got cancer" he spoke quietly.

An unseen figure suddenly approached Aaron and knelt down beside him - It was Chas. She looked into his deep brown eyes and her eyes filled up with ghostly tears. "I know love" she replied as she rubbed his arm softly well aware that he couldn't hear or see her.

"If you can hear me mum I just want you to know I'm so so sorry" he sobbed. "...For the way I behaved towards you, every day – but you have to know I love you and I wish you were here with me now, Jackson, Paddy and everyone are being amazing but I need you, I need you please come back" he sobbed uncontrollably into his hands. This was not like Aaron at all but this was his only way he could cry and talk about it all – when he was alone.

Chas' ghostly figure began to fade. "I wish I could son – I love you Aaron, Jackson's here now – be kind" in an instant she was gone. Aaron was unaware of the visit. But Chas hoped he was somewhere deep down aware that she was always there with him.

Jackson turned the corner and saw Aaron sitting on the side of the road but he did exactly what he guessed, as soon as he saw the van Aaron got up and started walking away. "Typical" Jackson muttered to himself and sped up. Stopping hard seconds later once he'd caught up to him he immediately removed the keys and jumped out of the van slamming the door harshly. "Aaron stop" Jackson spoke calmly as he walked a few metres behind him. Aaron didn't reply. "STOP!" Jackson yelled and was aggressive with it too. He was never like this, he was always full of joy and loved life but lately well that wasn't the case.

Aaron stopped in his tracks but didn't turn to face him. "Go away Jackson" was all he said.

"No I'm not going anywhere, you're doing it again, got everybody looking for you, "How does that feel, making people worry?" Jackson asked.

Aaron turned and faced his lover. "Absolutely amazing" his speech dripping with sarcasm.

"Don't be a dick" Jackson retorted. "I'll tell you how it feels; complete panic, dread, fear and sadness all rolled into one, that's how I feel when you do one of your disappearing acts"

"Do one then" Aaron scowled at him. "Who's asking you to stick around? You're just with me out of sympathy anyway" Aaron told him.

What Aaron had just said wasn't fair but Jackson put it down to the results and how they made him feel and how they were making him act now. But nonetheless Jackson felt like a brick or something similar had just whacked him right in the chest. "I'm not with you out of sympathy, I don't know how you can say that"

"Because I wanted to" Aaron snapped.

"Tell me why you stormed out?" Jackson quickly asked.

"Because I heard what I went to hear"

"Oh so that's it is it? You're just going to run away from it again?"

"No Jackson" Aaron shook his head and wiped his eyes. "For once I'm actually facing it head on, I've never been so certain about anything in my life"

"But there are other options! You're giving up!" Jackson tried to get it into his head. "This doesn't have to be the end for you Aaron, for us" he pleaded.

"Don't Jackson" Aaron looked away; he couldn't bare to see the pain in his eyes any longer.

"Don't what? Please just listen, I'm pleading with you Aaron" Jackson said as he moved closer to him and held both of his hands. "I'm pleading" his voice soothed now. "Six to twelve months is better than three or four" Jackson smiled lovingly at him. "Please babe..." he begged as he rested his forehead against Aaron's. "I love you"

Those three words made him cry even more. "All I've done since we met is hurt you Jackson, it's in your eyes every time I look at you – I'm putting you all through hell and I can't do that anymore, don't speak please...just listen" he added quickly, watching as Jackson was about to talk. "I don't mean the horrible things I say to you, I'm sorry for saying what I did before, I love you too Jackson and that's why I'm not having anymore treatments"

Jackson slowly shook his head. "I don't understand" he whispered.

"I know as it nears I'll get worse – I accept that, but I'd rather live three or six months happy being with the only love of my life opposed to twelve at most, spending it in hospitals hooked up to a drip, feeling so tired I don't know where the day has gone, being sick to the point I don't know who the hell I' am..." he told him honestly, and he hoped Jackson was trying to understand. " I don't want to miss things Jackson – I want to remember everything, I want to experience being with someone who loves me and who I love back with all my heart it hurts, it does Jackson – you have no idea. Either way I'm going to die, I'd just rather die happy and at home, and not in a hospital bed"

Jackson was facing away trying to control his tears as Aaron spoke.

"But knowing this now babe I'm giving you a chance to walk and I really wouldn't blame you if you took it – I know how you feel about me – that's enough" he smiled.

Jackson shook his head and turned to him. "I'm with you Aaron; I respect and understand your decision...although...I-"

"You don't like it?" Aaron asked to which Jackson nodded.

"I know that's okay" Aaron nodded. "Please don't hate me"

Jackson sobbed and placed his hand on Aaron's face. "I could never hate you" he moved in closer and kissed him on the forehead and held it there for a few seconds.

To Be Continued...


	11. 11 My Way

"My Way"

WRITTEN BY DAYNE DINNING

*This fanfic follows on from _Acceptance_

# Disclaimer – I do not own Emmerdale or any of the characters used.

Jackson and Aaron walked back into the cottage to be greeted by Paddy stood with his arms folded as he leaned against the kitchen bench and Hazel was making the coffees. "Oh there you are" Hazel smiled although she was aware of what had happened at the hospital, she didn't feel as though she had was entitled an opinion on the matter and remained neutral. "Hi Aaron, I'm Hazel – Jacksons mum" she introduced yourself. "I was here earlier but you weren't really yourself"

Aaron nodded and smiled. "Hi, yeah I'm sorry about that"

Hazel shook her head. "Oh don't worry about it" she smiled as she poured the steaming hot water into the two cups that were set out. "Do you boys want one?" she asked.

"Not for me thanks mum" Jackson sighed as he walked and stood beside Paddy.

"No thanks" Aaron smiled.

It was then, that Paddy spoke. Hazel was aware of his plan and she was hoping it would not spiral out of control. "Sit down Aaron" his voice firm.

Aaron frowned. "Look Paddy I know your probably upset and angry-" he was cut off.

"Too right I'm angry, sit down now before I make you sit down" he was more forceful now.

Jackson was also somewhat aware of what was going to happen, he overheard Paddy talking to his mum earlier about it and he was a little apprehensive about it too. He knew what Aaron was like. "Just sit down Aaron, please" he added.

Aaron's frown deepened as he pulled the chair out from its place at the table and sat down; as he did the front door opened, Cain and Debbie walked in. Aaron instantly knew and the only word that came to his mind was ambush. He sighed and shook his head. "Oh great, what you gone and done this for?" he asked.

To which Cain replied when he walked in the kitchen and stood in front of the table, staring down at Aaron. "What have you gone and done this for Aaron, hmmm? Because I'm telling you now; you're getting in my car right now and we're going back to that hospital and that's final"

Debbie was stood beside him. "We only want whats best for you" she added.

"I appreciate that and everything but I DONT appreciate this!" Aaron's temper rose. "I've made my decision now and you all should respect that, I know it's hard to accept but I can't do it"

"You can and you will" Cain was frustrated with his nephew, it was clear for all to see, they all were – except Jackson that is.

"Hello?" came the voice of Pearl as she entered the house via the surgery, when she walked in the kitchen, all eyes were on her. "Ahh, I'm sorry to interrupt – I have Mrs. Lanbeck waiting..." she told Paddy.

"Not now Pearl, appointments cancelled" he replied.

"But-"

"I said it's cancelled there is a certain young man in here who is more important to me than some cat"

Pearl sighed and nodded. "Oh what you done now? Boys" she sighed again.

Aaron shrugged. "Stopped treatment, there's no point in it anymore"

"There is every point!" Paddy hit the roof which startled everyone. This situation from day one had tested everyone's limits and it showed now more than ever before.

Pearl sighed and watched Aaron. She didn't give her opinion but she nodded more to herself really and understood instantly why he decided for it to be this way. Yes he was young and it was a shame but when she thought back to a time when she had a same experience with the deadly illness albeit survived, she had complete empathy for Aaron. "I'll see to Mrs Lanbeck" she spoke quietly.

Paddy only nodded and she left.

"Right are you all going to listen? I'll say the same to you lot as I did with Jackson...I'd rather spend whatever time that is left happy, knowing who I' am rather than being ill for every second of the day because of treatments, I don't want my last days to be in a hospital I want to be here with my family"

Paddy felt a pang of sadness creep through the barriers of anger and he leaned back against the bench and placed his head in his hands.

"Aaron..." Debbie leaned down beside him and put her arm around him. She seemed to understand also, she didn't approve no, not at all. But what could they do? Force him? He'd run away, like he'd done a few times already. "It'll get worse as time goes on" she spoke softly.

Aaron nodded. "I know...and I accept that"

Jackson had his arms folded and his chin pretty much close to his chest, as the tears fell from his eyes. Hazel saw this quickly and walked to him and held him tightly as he sobbed.

"Look what you're doing!" Cain erupted. "He loves you, everyone can see that – Aaron..." then instantly he pulled a chair out from the table and fell into it, tears close to falling. He sighed.

Aaron had never seen Cain cry. "I know he does, and I love him too"

"Then please do everything you can, who cares what the doctor said, there might be some chance" the tears finally fell. "I've already lost my sister I can't lose you too; you're my nephew for god sake"

Aaron cried. "I'm sorry, I love you all I don't want this to tear us apart, I just want to enjoy the time I have left with you all" he got up quickly and moved to the living room.

Cain's head was on the table, his arms over his head, struggling to stop the tears as Debbie placed her hand on his shoulder. "Dad, come on, there's nothing more we can say – he's made his mind up."

Cain lifted his head and wiped his eyes; he stood up and placed his hand on Paddy's shoulder in a supportive manner. "I'll come and see him tomorrow, tell him yeah"

Paddy nodded before Cain and Debbie left.

"He's a brave, brave boy" Hazel lifted her head off Jackson as she comforted him.

"Braver than I would be" was all Paddy said as he sat at the cleared table.

Jackson moved slowly and ended up at the doorway, he thought carefully before opening it and leaving the house.

It had been almost an hour since the ambush and Aaron was sat on the couch with his knees drawn into his chest, he flicked through the channels on the TV before settling on some music. His elbow rested on the arm of the chair and he rested his head against the palm of his hand. Aaron hadn't seen Jackson since, or Paddy but he heard slight muffled conversations between him and Hazel. He tried ignoring them. About five minutes later he heard the front door open, and again more voices. _What now? _He wondered. Then momentarily in his peripheral vision he saw someone enter the room and stop. He looked to see who it was. "Adam?" he hadn't seen him in a long time, since the day of the crash - their relationship still wasn't on the best of terms since the attempted kiss.

"Hi..." Adam replied feeling a little awkward and he looked back into the kitchen at Jackson who urged him silently to talk to him. Adam didn't know what he was expecting to hear but the atmosphere cut through him as soon as he followed Jackson into the house. He knew of Aaron's illness, the entire village did. He was also shocked at how different Aaron seemed physically, worn and exhausted just to mention a few.

"Hi" Aaron said as he sat up properly. "What brings you round?" he asked.

"Jackson came to find me, he said it was important we patch things up, whatever that meant..." he shrugged.

Aaron couldn't help but smile, Jackson was always so considerate. But maybe this time would not have come if Jackson hadn't done this?

"Well you gonna sit there smiling or are you gonna tell me?" Adam asked, the smile didn't say anything to Adam, he still felt some kind of anticipation.

"He probably asked you here so we could try and patch things up before it's too late" he replied, his gaze firm on the coffee table.

Adam frowned. "Wha-Why?" his voice cracked, dreading the worst - he didn't understood. "You're going to be alright aren't ya?"

All Aaron needed to do was shake his head.

Adam looked up to the ceiling and closed his eyes briefly. "Oh god..." he walked over and sat next to him. _All that time wasted over something so stupid _he thought as the guilt set in.

Aaron looked at him, half smiling, half teary. "Don't feel guilty Adam and I know you are so don't avoid it, there's no need to be, I crossed a line that I shouldn't have, it freaked you out and I'm sorry for that"

Adam absentmindedly shook his head. "No I should have been more supportive, let you talk about your feelings but I didn't, I know you got there eventually but I'm your mate, I should have been there for you"

Aaron smiled. "Let's forget about it then hmm?" he asked. "But I do need you now, I'm not ashamed to admit it – I don't know but lately I think all this has softened me a bit" he chuckled.

Jackson smiled as he listened as he stood close to the doorway. He nodded. That was an understatement; he was a soppy git and it was about time he admitted it to someone.

Adam nodded. "Then I'm here, whatever you need, whenever; I'm here mate, I promise, I won't let you down again"

"Oh don't start crying on me ya muppet! I can't take any more of it" Aaron had to laugh as he wiped his eyes.

"I know but you're – you're..." Adam couldn't speak no more and he hung his head crying.

Aaron watched, his heart breaking more with every second. "I know" he spoke quietly as he placed his hand on Adams shoulder to pull him close for a friendly hug.

Aaron hoped now that he'd said his piece, stated his intentions that his family would begin to slowly adjust to it, and understand and not hate him for his choice but he knew it wasn't easy for them. _He_ was the one being strong for them now – he had to be.

_**To Be Continued...As Always **_– I hope you guys are still liking this, I'm aware it's sad and taken a different turn some people may have not expected but this does happen. No I'm not going into it in detail medically, I'm just showing how it affects the family around Aaron and I would hope that I'm doing it justice? Reviews are most welcome. Thankyou so much for reading guys. I never imagined I'd get the responses I have done before I started this as I have done. So again thankyou and I hope you stick around for the rest of Aaron and Jackson's journey!


	12. 12 Just Say Yes

"Just Say Yes"

WRITTEN BY DAYNE DINNING

*This fanfic follows on from _My Way_

# Disclaimer – I do not own Emmerdale or any of the characters used.

Adam hadn't long been gone. Aaron still hadn't seen Jackson; he guessed he was in the kitchen with Hazel and Paddy, he didn't blame them to be fair,_ who'd want to be around me now after that decision _he thought. He shook his head and stood up and walked into the kitchen and there they were, all sat at the table suddenly going quiet as he walked in. Aaron opened the fridge and pulled out a can of lager – cracked it open and headed for the stairs.

"What you doing?" Jackson frowned.

"Trying to get some normality back" he simply replied as he left the kitchen, walked up the stairs and into his room, instantly locking the door as soon as it shut.

Back in the kitchen Jackson was thinking, or over thinking as he concluded; he took a breath. "Guys, I have something to ask you"

Paddy and Hazel looked at him. "Go on..." Paddy said.

"Would you both mind making yourselves scarce tonight? I wanna do a meal or something for him tonight, I wanna enjoy him being here with me, I hope that's not selfish I'm not pushing you out Paddy it's just-"

Paddy stopped him there. "Don't be silly Jackson; you deserve some time alone together me and your mum will go to the pub" he smiled.

Jackson nodded. "Thankyou"

Hazel raised an eyebrow. "A meal? Aaron will be lucky if he gets that!" she laughed. "You know, I'm betting it'll be takeaway"

"Oh mum" Jackson shook his head. "Whatever it is, it'll be an amazing night"

Paddy nodded. "We'll be out of the house for seven"

"Cheers"

In his room, he sat on his bed with several envelopes, an a4 pad of writing paper and a pen. He was writing letters, preparing was what he was doing, writing down his goodbyes to the closest people in his life. His face told a clear story – his emotions were sky high and the tears were imminent as he wrote. He was almost finished writing Paddy's. When he had finished the very long and detailed letter he looked at it through teary eyes, smiling slightly. "Now that's what I think of you Paddy – I love you" he said to himself as he folded the paper and placed it inside the envelope and wrote Paddy's name on it.

Aaron was keeping Jackson's letter until the end, when everyone else's had been done.

He placed Adam's and Paddy's completed letters inside a larger envelope, all of Aaron's preparations and goodbyes were inside. He never expected this, much like he never expected his mum to die, but this was life – it could be cruel and Aaron had certainly been handed the unlucky card when it came to the cancer. But for other things like Paddy and Jackson, now they were diamonds, ones to be treasured always. He wanted them to stay close when he was gone, he noted that in Paddy's letter and he hoped they would.

He almost jumped out of his skin when the door tried to be opened; he'd forgotten that it was locked and he quickly placed everything on the bed in the drawer underneath on his side. He got up and unlocked it.

Jackson was stood on the landing, the door opened and seeing Aaron made him smile. "Let me in?" he asked.

Aaron smiled too and Jackson walked in.

"I'm sorry I've been keeping out of the way handsome I just...needed time" Jackson told him.

"It's ok" Aaron understood.

"What you been doing?" Jackson asked.

"Nothing, just lying here thinking" he smiled. "Listen; thankyou for bringing Adam here, I love you for that"

Jackson smiled and sat on the bed. "I knew you would be too stubborn to talk about it with him unless someone got involved"

Aaron smiled and nodded. "Thanks"

"You're welcome" Jackson replied. "I've made plans for us tonight, just in the house but if you're too tired I can make it another night?" Jackson told him as he came to sit by him.

"No, no way, tonight is fine" Aaron smiled, then a curious look appeared on his face. "What you up to?" he chuckled.

"A meal, a good long chat with the man I love and a cuddle on the couch while we put a DVD on or something"

"As long as it's not a chick flick"

Jackson laughed. "Erm no, not a chance"

"That's alright then – I can't wait babe"

Jackson smiled and put his arm around him and held him close. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm a little tired I will admit, but I don't feel sick, that's good for once" he told him.

Jackson nodded. "Well I tell ya what – I've gotta go to Leyla's - buy some stuff then I'll be busying in the kitchen so why don't you have a nap" he smiled.

"Sounds like a good idea, but please cook whatever you're cooking properly" Aaron laughed as he teased.

"Hey!" Jackson grabbed a pillow and whacked him playfully.

Aaron laughed.

"Do you know how good it is to hear you laugh?" Jackson asked, as he gazed at him in adoration. The penny then dropped, if it hadn't completely already and Aaron just looked at him lovingly. _That's why I made the decision I have babe _Aaron thought. "I love you, now go on, better get shopping I'll be starving when i wake up, oh and I'll even dress up if you're lucky"

"Oh I know you will" Jackson told him as he leaned in and kissed him passionately.

The kiss lasted longer than intended; now on top of Aaron with their arms feeling each other and a few minutes later. Jackson pulled away gently, breathless. "I really had better go to the shops" he chuckled.

"I think you better" Aaron smiled as he looked into his eyes.

Jackson smirked and climbed off of Aaron and headed for the door, looking back at him for a second before walking out.

When his eyes opened, his room was lit with orange from the street lights. It was dark and he heard music playing, but not loud but what was loud was quite a lot of banging and clashing from downstairs. _Oh god he's really cooking _his first thought made him laugh. He rolled onto his back and he sat up slowly, there was slight pain but nothing too serious. He got up off his bed, closed the curtains and walked carefully in the dark to the light switch, his eyes flinched closed at the bright light – they adjusted quickly and he opened his wardrobe, pulled out a pair of jeans and his grey jumper. He usually wore that for night outs and special occasions. He laid them out on the bed and walked out onto the lit landing. "Alright sexy!" he called down the stairs to Jackson with a smirk as he stood in the doorway of the bathroom waiting for his reply.

"Oh Aaron" the voice was not Jacksons but his laugh was instantly heard afterward. "Why thankyou" Hazel spoke. "I can't stay though love, sorry to shatter your dreams I'm busy tonight, byeee" she called back to him.

Aaron let his head hit the doorway and he laughed. _Oh my god _he laughed some more. Hazel heard him as she left the house, she loved embarrassing people. Aaron just assumed Jackson was the only other one still in the house.

"Yeah I'm fine handsome, how about you?" Jackson called up. "Sorry about her by the way"

"I'm alright" he smiled, his body went warm at the sound of his voice, every time he spoke it sent tingles all over him. "No, don't apologise, it was funny, trust me though eh? I'm going in the shower, I'll be down soon"

Jackson had prepared the plates already that were the cause of the banging and crashing earlier. The table was set, topped with a table cloth, rose petals dotted on it. Two large candles stood in their holders in the centre of the table, he lowered the lights, and the curtains were closed, soft romantic music was playing. He was in a nice fitted white shirt, jeans and black shoes. He knew Aaron wouldn't wear a shirt that was fine by him; he loved him in whatever he wore.

Jackson sat at the table, singing along quietly to the song that had just came on, Chasing cars by Snow Patrol. "Would you lie with me and just forget the world?" Jackson sang quietly as Aaron walked down the stairs. He smiled as he listened to him. He had quite an alright voice actually, Aaron nodded to himself. He liked it. When he appeared in the doorway he smiled. "Yeah I will" he spoke, startling Jackson in the process.

"Ohhh you didn't hear me did you?" Jackson went red.

"I did, you have a good voice for a builder" Aaron smirked.

Jackson laughed and stood and walked to the opposite end of the table and pulled out a chair for Aaron.

Aaron took this invitation. "Softie" he teased as he sat down and the chair was pushed in beneath him by Jackson.

"I'm sorry to break it to you but I haven't cooked, I thought about it but I opted for the safer option" he smirked as he sat back down.

"So what is this safer option?" Their gaze was locked as they spoke to one another.

"Chinese" Jackson grinned. "Should be here soon"

Aaron smiled. "Good, oh I love this song" The song was 'Just say Yes' another song by Snow Patrol.

Jackson laughed a little. "You really have gone soft Mr. Livesy"

Aaron nodded. "I know" he shrugged.

"I don't mind, I like it" he stood up and held out his hand. "Dance with me" Jackson spoke softly.

It was half nine by the time they had eaten their meal; they both tidied up and cleared everything away. Now they sat in the living room, having decided against a film they stuck some music on and cuddled up chatting. They talked about each other's pasts, told each other stories until the conversation came around to the present. Aaron didn't know whether to ask this but he was curious to know. "W-What will you do when I'm gone?" he asked.

Jackson didn't like that question and he sat forward, away from Aaron, now his body language altered quickly.

"I'm sorry" Aaron said.

"No it's alright but to tell the truth I haven't thought about it, I've made friends here, got my job, contacts, I'll probably stick around but I'll see"

Aaron hung his head, now kicking himself for asking that.

Jackson turned around again and sat properly looking at Aaron, Aaron noticed this and met his gaze, but there was something – something so much more powerful than just lust, it was more of a longing. They locked lips passionately and when they broke. Aaron kissed his neck. "I love you Aaron" Jackson whispered in his ear.

"Make love to me Jackson" Aaron's voice was shaky, nervous but full of desire.

Jackson had never expected this, not ever – he understood that maybe they would not be able too. This was a shock but a welcomed one "Are you sure?" As Jackson asked that everyone around him seemed to go silent.

"I'm sure Jackson, I've never been so sure about anything in my life" Aaron was honest.

Jackson nodded and stood up, held his hand out eventually taking Aaron's into his and he pulled him up and led him upstairs, Jackson turned on the stairs and looked at him smiling. The house fell silent as the lock on their door latched...

To Be Continued...


	13. 13 Bliss

"Bliss"

WRITTEN BY DAYNE DINNING

*This fanfic follows on **2 Months **from _Just Say Yes_

# Disclaimer – I do not own Emmerdale or any of the characters used.

~**Tissue Warning? You decide!**

It was a hot summer's day, and Jackson's day off. He took Aaron out for the day in Hotten they came upon the park after having dinner in a restaurant. They were sat on a bench with an ice cream each peacefully watching the world go by; until Aaron decided to swipe his ice cream across Jackson's nose. Aaron pulled an instant shocked face. Jackson didn't react except returning the favour.

Both men laughed. Aaron was withering; Jackson could tell every day there was a decline. It hurt so badly.

"Jackson promise me something, when I do go that you grieve, get it out of your system and move on and be happy"

Jackson sighed. "Aaronnn" he shook his head slowly. "It's not going to be that easy, you're irreplaceable, Livesy" he said matter of factly.

Aaron smiled and looked ahead again. "I just want you to be happy"

"I know, and eventually I will but when you go" he shook his head; he couldn't believe it was going to happen sometime. "It's gunna kill me, so when I'm ready I will do as you ask, but right now we have shopping to do so, come on off your arse" Jackson grinned smugly, he loved giving Aaron the delight of shopping.

Aaron rolled his eyes with a smirk and stood up, and they both left the park arm in arm.

Aaron's breathing was at times loud, strained and deep. The time between rests was decreasing rapidly, his weight was extremely low, and he was a frail and gaunt. But one thing remained, that spark in his big deep blue eyes that Jackson loved so so much.

When they sat on a bench, back in the town centre they were just chatting away together when Jacksons eyes wandered to a big building down the road – he knew what it was, and a light bulb switched on inside his head, he knew the second he saw it – he wanted it...

Jackson's attention was brought back to Aaron, when his warm hand touched his cheek. "You ok Jackson?" he asked.

Jackson smiled. "Yeah, yeah course I' am, I just..."

"Seemed pretty far away for a second" Aaron added before Jackson continued.

"Yeah" Jackson frowned. "That's because..." he smiled. "I need to ask you a question"

And in the middle of the hustle and bustle of Hotten town centre, Jackson got off the bench, and knelt down on one knee. Aaron's jaw dropped. He felt embarrassed for a split second. "What you doing?" he asked quickly.

"Shut up for once" Jackson smiled warmly as he took his hand in his.

"Aaron Livesy, from day one you caught my attention, you let me fall in love with you and I got to know the person underneath the hard shell you put on everyday" Jackson smiled through tear filled, this was now catching the attention of passersby. But to Aaron and Jackson the only people there was them.

"I just want you to know I'm not doing this because of the predicament we're in, I'm doing this because I love you, simple – so Aaron Livesy will you do me the honour of being my husband – now?"

Aaron was taken aback; he let out a deep breath and looked around to see an elderly woman egging him on. "What you waiting for lad?" Aaron just smiled and looked back at Jackson. _Please babe _Jackson thought over and over. "I-I..." Jackson panicked. "I don't have a ring or anything but I just wanna make it official"

"Jackson shush! I will" there it was, Aaron's answer and he leaned forward and kissed him.

The people around them clapped and the old woman waved her hand bag frantically in a circular motion and she sighed happily before walking away.

Both men burst into fits of laughter. "Come on then you, I did say now"

"What?" Aaron obviously hadn't taken that piece of information in. "Now, Now?"

"Uh yeah now...There's the registrars" Jackson beamed happily.

Aaron went into a complete panic. "But I'm wearing my trackies Jackson" he accentuated each word.

"Yes and you look hot as hell Aaron" he accentuated his also. "Now come on or we don't have too, I'll understand"

Aaron shook his head smiling. "No there's nothing more I want"

Aaron stood waiting while Jackson explained the circumstances to the registrar and that it was complete last minute.

"Please I'm begging" Jackson tone quietened. "I know you're fully booked but it won't take long, we don't want anything fancy, we just wanna be husbands. Please surely under this, I'm his only love and it's his only chance"

The tall, skinny long blonde haired registrar faltered with a sigh. "I'm a sucker for a hot man and a nice smile" she then nodded. "Do you want us to provide witnesses?" she asked.

Jackson's face lit up and he instinctively kissed her on the cheek. "You've just made a special guy very happy" Jackson said as he looked back to Aaron. "Yes please" he answered.

"Go on then, room four, just down the hall, I'll be a few minutes" she told him.

Aaron was distant as he sat in the chair. Jackson's voice drew him back to reality. "They can fit us in" he smiled and Aaron took his hand.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Jackson asked.

Aaron nodded. "Yeah I 'am, just sad aswell y'know?"

Jackson nodded. "I know babe, but we have to make the most of the time we have left" Jackson promised himself he wasn't going to cry.

"Which of you has the rings?" the registrar asked.

Aaron and Jackson both looked at each other and smirked.

"Well there's a story behind this, see we don't actually have any...an elastic band? Would do if you have any?" Jackson said his wit and charm shining through.

Aaron just laughed and shook his head. The registrar nodded and couldn't help but smile. "I have elastic bands" she nodded and opened the drawer of the desk and took some out – this was possibly the most unusual marriage she'd ever conducted but the love was plain to see.

"I'm getting us one when we leave here" he told Aaron.

Aaron's eyes filled with tears, he nodded in reply.

Jackson took his elastic band and began placing it on Aaron's finger. "I Jackson Walsh take you Aaron Livesy to be my lawfully wedded husband" he could feel the lump in his throat grow. "Through sickness and in health - Until death do us part"

Aaron nodded as he struggled to keep his emotions in check. The registrar nodded to Aaron and he placed his elastic band onto Jackson's finger and looked into his eyes. "I Aaron Livesy, take you Jackson Walsh to be my husband through sickness and in health, until death do us part..." he took a breath. He wanted to add more and the registrar permitted this. "Jackson you've been my rock, my inspiration, my reason to get up on a morning, you made see me through the denial and I will be eternally grateful for that, you showed me that not everything is as bad as it seems, thankyou for putting up with endless hospital appointments, sitting beside me while I had the treatments, the mood swings, the disappearing acts, me pushing you away – I'll love you forever Jackson" Aaron was now crying and he dropped his head, the registrar pulled out a tissue from her pocket as she was also crying.

Seconds later she spoke. "Then by the power vested in me" she sniffed. "By the district council, I now pronounce you both married husband and husband" she smiled. "You may now kiss"

Aaron and Jackson merged as one as they held other tightly and shared a deep passionate meaningful embrace. They were married now, Aaron had never been happier. They stopped and walked over to sign the register, making it even more official than it already was.

To Be Continued...


	14. 14 The Day You Never Expect To Arrive II

"The Day You Never Expect To Arrive Part II"

WRITTEN BY DAYNE DINNING

*This fanfic follows on **a few days **from _Bliss_

# Disclaimer – I do not own Emmerdale or any of the characters used.

***Tissue Warning***

Aaron was in the woolpack for a celebration of his and Jackson's marriage - he sat looking around at his friends, family and neighbours, taking in all of the memories each of them held for him. He remembered the day he tried to stop Rodney's van crashing into Leyla's shop. He remembered rescuing Holly when she was at her lowest point. He remembered the countless times, he stole milk from the van, and he remembered laughter, his constant bad mood and attitude towards people, especially the ones he cared about the most. _What will people say about me? _He wondered - that he would never know.

Suddenly, as a surprise to him he got up and walked to the bar where Carl was having a quiet drink. "Congratulations" was all he said.

"Can I get you a drink?" Aaron asked.

"No offence Aaron but I think the time for that has passed now don't you think?"

"Carl please"

Carl sighed and nodded, looking at him. "Okay...how you doing?" he instantly cursed himself._ What kind of question is that? You know how he's doing. _Carl thought.

"Pint please Diane..." Aaron asked. "I'm sorry for everything I ever did to you and everything I did to try and get between you and mum, I'm really sorry"

Carl nodded. "I accept you're apology, but I understand it must have been hard for you, she would be proud of you Aaron, for being so brave – we all are, although we don't all say it"

Aaron smiled, placed some money down on the counter. "Thanks" he spoke quietly and walked away, back to his table.

As soon as he sat back down Paddy walked over and sat beside him laughing. "Have you seen your husband?" he didn't stop laughing.

Aaron looked over and saw him basically drunk dancing with Adam. Aaron laughed. "Yeah...Yeah I have" he smiled.

"You ok Aaron?" Paddy asked.

Aaron looked at him. "No, but you already knew that" he replied.

Paddy put his arm around him. "I know" he sighed as he watched the people in the pub having fun. "You wanna go get some fresh air?" he asked.

Aaron nodded and Paddy instinctively as he got into the habit of doing recently helped him up and led him outside.

Jackson watched on from a far, smiling he got the idea that that was going to be a moment that shouldn't be disturbed.

Outside in the cool air they were both grateful for, they sat on one of the tables outside the pub, side by side. "I'm so happy for you both Aaron, granted I'd have liked to have been told but from what Jackson says it was a spur of the moment thing" Paddy spoke.

Aaron nodded. "It was, I'm sorry though Paddy"

"No don't be"

"No, I am for putting you through this, everything I've done really"

"Aaron please don't be talking like this" Paddy avoided this moment for a long time.

"No you have to listen to me because I need you to know alright? So please keep your hair on and listen"

He nodded and remained silent.

"You have done so much for me ever since I came here, you've put up with me when I've been horrible, and you've defended me when you knew I did wrong" Aaron looked at him with glazed eyes and he placed his hand over his. "You've been my father and that's something I'll take with me – I've appreciated it all Paddy"

Paddy was now crying hard with his head in his hands and he nodded. "I know" he spoke through his hands, his voice muffled. Paddy looked up and straight away and held him tightly, which made Aaron cry. "Thankyou" Aaron whispered.

"Sshhh" Paddy soothed.

"Paddy do me a favour" he began as he pulled away gently.

"Anything?"

"Look after Jackson for me"

Paddy cried even more.

"He's going to need people around; I need to make sure he's going to be okay"

Paddy nodded as he wiped his eyes. "I will, I promise you I will"

"Oh there you two are!" Hazel walked out of the pub to see them both.

Paddy smiled at him. "I'll leave you to it" He'd seen his talk to Carl and now their talk, he didn't want to admit it but Aaron was saying his goodbyes.

Hazel smiled as Paddy walked back into the pub and she sat next to Aaron. "How you doing love?" she asked.

Aaron smiled. "I'm alright – Hazel can I talk to you for a sec?"

"I'm all ears" she replied with a thoughtful smile.

"I've asked Paddy and now I'm asking you, obviously I know you will but look after Jackson when I'm gone"

"Oh Aaron" she sighed looking up into the night sky. "You know I will, I'm so pleased I got the chance to meet my Jackson's boy, and what a fine boy you are, you've made him so happy" her voice was choked as she struggled to speak.

Aaron nodded. "He's made me happy countless times"

"Come on darling; let's get you back inside hmm, its cold outside isn't it?"

"Yeah just a bit" he chuckled as they walked back inside.

Upon re-entering the pub Jackson walked up to him, placed his hands at Aaron's side, looking him over, checking he was okay. "You alright?"

Aaron nodded, he felt tired and an unusual instinct hit him – it was time. He didn't know when but he knew who he wanted to be with when it came. "Yeah I uh, is it okay if we just go home?" he asked.

Jackson nodded. "Yeah of course, anything, c'mon..." he took his hand and walked him home.

As they walked up to the cottage, Aaron looked at him lovingly. "Do you ever regret coming to the village and liking me?" he asked.

Jackson looked at him with a frown. "No, not one bit, you've given me so much more than just love, you've given me happiness, fun, and a life and I could never repay you for that"

"But you have Jackson, trust me you have" Aaron told him sincerely.

Jackson smiled and kissed him softly.

Back inside the cottage, Aaron and Jackson went straight up to bed; they got settled and cuddled together under the warm duvet. Aaron lay with his head on Jackson's chest. "I love you Jackson, so much words can't explain" he said as he looked up at him.

Jackson kissed him on the lips again. "I love you too Aaron" he smiled and rested his head back against the head rest closing his eyes.

Aaron remained looking up at him until Jackson fell asleep; he knew this would be the last time he saw Jackson, his husband, he would take his image with him forever, he was the one he fell for instantly. This was the last time.

He rested his head back down and kissed his chest softly. His eyes fell closed and in his mind he heard the echo;- _**It's time to let go and stop fighting son, I'll look after you now – it's alright don't be scared – you'll see Jackson again. **_And with that Aaron's breathed his final breath as he lay being held by his husband.

To Be Continued.


	15. 15 Goodnight Handsome

"Goodnight Handsome"

WRITTEN BY DAYNE DINNING

*This fanfic follows on from _The Day You Never Expect To Arrive Part II_

# Disclaimer – I do not own Emmerdale or any of the characters used.

The sounds of the birds tweeting rather loudly from outside the window woke Jackson and the sunlight peering through the slightly parted curtains caused him to squint a little. He lifted himself up carefully and laid Aarons head down on the pillow. _Must have been comfy, he's not moved _Jackson thought as he smiled looking at him; he rubbed his eyes. "Wake up babe" he spoke a little loudly to rouse him from his sleep.

It didn't work.

Jackson frowned and looked down at him again; it was then he realised Aaron wasn't breathing. He froze immediately. "Aaron?" his voice whispery as the sadness began to overwhelm him. "Aaron!" he forced his voice to be louder. Aaron didn't wake. He touched his arm – it was cold and there was no pulse.

Jackson launched himself out of the bed. "Paddy!" he yelled as he ran those few steps to his door, he banged on it with force.

Paddy woke up startled; he sat up with his legs out of the bed and he placed his hand over his mouth. He knew. Jackson wouldn't have been shouting and knocking otherwise.

He got up, walked to the door and opened it; he stepped back from the doorway to let Jackson in. Paddy's face was numb and unresponsive.

Jackson had both hands up to his face covering his mouth and nose – he just shook his head, and his body jerked as the floods of tears escaped his eyes, his legs wanted to give way and he took hold of the door frame to keep him standing up but it wasn't working. Jackson fell to the floor on his knees hard, and powerful but emotional shriek of cries ripped out from deep within him. And it didn't stop.

Paddy dropped to his knees too. _Look after Jackson for me _Aaron's words echoed in his mind, and he took the young man in his arms.

Hazel ran into the room, startled also. She stopped at the sight of her boy crying his heart out on the floor with Paddy holding him, he was crying too but he was more prepared, if that was the right word.

"Oh no..." she sighed and got on the floor and held Jackson aswell. _You Poor, Poor Boy Aaron _she thought.

Jackson was pulled from the memory of that morning by the firm hold on his hand his mother had just taken and his eyes refocused themselves as he watched the coffin – his Aaron being lowered into the ground. "Jackson..." Ashley spoke as he held the box of soil.

Jackson wasn't with it, as expected. He looked at his mother as if checking what to do. Hazel nodded. "Go on son..."

He let go of her hand and walked to Ashley who placed a hand on his shoulder. Jackson placed his hand inside the box and withdrew a handful of the soil. Ashley's words were distorted to Jackson, like they were far away. He held out his hand and threw the soil on top of the coffin. "I love you so much" he said more to himself but hoped Aaron was somewhere he could hear him. "Goodnight Handsome, sleep well"

Jackson's words could in fact be heard and it induced more tears from the family and friends of his husband.

The service was over and the guests began to dissipate, Adam was crying and Moira led him away with her arm around him. Cain and Debbie were a mess aswell; they walked away together with their hands held firmly together but Jackson stayed where he was.

"Son, you can't stay here" Hazel said as she approached, followed closely behind by Paddy.

"I can mum..." he closed his eyes. "Please just go to the wake"

Hazel sighed; she wasn't going to get through to him in this state. "Alright love, but if you need me..."

Jackson nodded. His eyes never left the coffin the entire time and as they left Jackson got down to his knees. He didn't speak he just cried, and then looked at the headstone not even a metre away. "Look after him now Chas" he stood up and walked away slowly.

He ended up back at the house, but as he walked through the village it seemed empty. Aaron, although he never realised it, was a huge personality, he would have loved and probably been surprised to see how many people turned out to his funeral.

The house was silent, Aaron's smell could still be smelt as soon as he opened the front door, his lower lip quivered in sadness – Jackson was lost; he didn't know what to do.

He walked upstairs and into his and Aaron's room. He lay on the bed, on Aaron's side and clutched his pillow close to his chest as he lay sobbing.

It took him a long time to calm down after that – he'd missed the wake; he realised when he heard his mum and Paddy walk through the front door.

Paddy slumped in a chair at the kitchen table. "Hazel I never said this to Aaron or mentioned this but" he started to cry. "What am I going to do now? I know I've got my Marlon and my friends but he's all I really had, and now he's just gone, I love him so much" Paddy struggled. How could he? All of them move on from this now? Aaron was a flame, a treasure in their lives, he lit up the room when he walked in, even in his moods, and he always caught everyone's attention. Now that flame was gone.

Hazel tried to be strong but she couldn't and she began crying to as she walked to the table and sat next to him. "He knew that darlin' don't ever doubt that, you looked after him so well, you and my boy and he was so, so grateful for that"

Paddy nodded his head. "Let it out Paddy..." Hazel tried soothing him as he rubbed her hand up and down his back.

Jackson was listening upstairs and it brought him to yet more tears. But suddenly he had an urge, a one he couldn't explain. He needed to sort Aaron's things out. He knew he kept things in the drawer under the bed. Jackson got up off the bed, opened the door and knelt down; he saw a large bulky envelope and a gift. He took them out, and he pulled out what was in the envelope. There was four letters, one each for Hazel, Paddy, Adam and Jackson.

"Oh babe" Jackson shook his head. "You should have let me help you with all of this"

He picked up the gift, it wasn't too big and it was thin, it read. _**Jackson, this is for you x**_

He removed the lid, pushed away the decorative paper inside, and it revealed a picture of him and Aaron, together holding each other when Aaron was a lot healthier, from one of their night outs. It was engraved: - _**Never forget me – All my love, - Your handsome Aaron **__** xxxx**_

And then they came again, the floods of tears from deep within Jackson. He opened the letter and began reading it.

**To My loving husband, Jackson Livesy,**

**Haha now how weird does that sound eh babe? But I tell ya it fits you Jackson, it really really does. **

**Can you believe I'm actually writing a letter? I have a hard enough time as it saying how I feel in person lol – and I said lol oh my god! **

**God Aaron, right shut up! Okay I'm sorry if I get soppy from here in out and most of the things I write here I'll have probably said in person but I wanted noted in writing **

**When I met you I didn't know how to be, I couldn't accept who I was until you came along, and like I said in my vows, you helped me through the denial, I'll always be grateful to you, I'm just so so sorry I never met you years ago, because then maybe we'd have had a chance, a real chance with no illness, because I probably wouldn't have been so careless to have caught it late. **

**You were my rock, my life force – the man of my dreams I guess – if that's the word? You know what I'm like. Thankyou for being so patient with me – thankyou for loving me. **

**You gave me a new life one I loved with each passing second, I'll always remember how gentle and amazing you were when we made love for the first time, that night was special, you are special Jackson, and don't ever let anyone tell you otherwise. **

**Now onto some business; I'm leaving you my clothes:P Haha yes it's official you are keeping my clothes, god I can imagine the look on your face now, all those times you gave me a dig about fashion, well well its come back to bite you in the arse Haha but seriously, I want you to keep those, the gift you may have already or need to open, my music, iPod, my photographs, stuff like that, but obviously decide with Paddy on what photos and trinkets you both get. **

**I know I don't have a lot of stuff to leave behind for you all but there is one thing that you all already have – the memories we share, never lose those. **

**I'm really struggling now to write this I can't bloody see for the tears, so Ill close this off now – Jackson I've loved you with all of my heart, I keep repeating myself buy you are so so special and I hope whoever you find next, will realise that as much I have done. **

**I'll always be around you Jackson, forever and always, and whatever you decide to do next, wherever you decide to go, I need you to promise me you'll always remain in touch with Paddy, he's my dad. That's all there is to it. **

**Goodbye my precious man,**

**Never forget me, I love you! X**

**Aaron xxx**

Hazel watched Jackson breaking his heart as he read the letter. When he finished he fell against the bed not realising his mum was there. He took a few minutes to calm. When he stood, he looked out of his window at the village, just like Aaron had done countless times. He heard footsteps behind him and his mother walked to his side.

Jackson felt the firm hold of her arm around him. He hung his head sadly. "What do I do now mum?" he cried.

Hazel shook her head subtly. "You grieve Jackson, however long it takes me and Paddy are here"

Jackson nodded and looked back out of the window.

Jackson Livesy never regretted coming to this village, he didn't regret a damn thing. He found happiness here. And he knew for one, that he would never ever forget Aaron, and he would make sure no one else did either for as long as he lived.

The End...Or is it ;)

Okay guys that's the end of that series of stories. I hope I've done that justice, I really do. I hope you like what I did with the surname.

But there is a twist coming, so keep checking my profile for more!

Now I'm going to find more tissues! Lol!

Please continue to read and review, the feedback has been so appreciated!


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